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ut27girl
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chillin'
April 15, 2008, 12:54 pm PDT

Cheated On

Quote From: drewtime

how did you handle that. did you work through it or was it over. i have never truely loved anyone before and i opened my hart to her and was honest with her every day and we told each other that if we were ever unhappy we would just leave each other and not play games. i truely believed her. in her past relationships she was cheated on and did not want to put anyone else through that. i have come to find out that she was the one that cheated in all the relationships either first or after she found out he was. our relationship has had its ups and downs and i have been 100% honest with her and i have proof for i take polygraphs every six mounths and and they ask about my relationships and i have past everyone of them. and i have told her that i have. but she still accuses me of cheating on her. i know we have a long road ahead of us. she needs to find out what her core needs are and set up a relapse prevention plan to help her in the future. i have tried to teach her  RP and the 4-step many of times but she feels that she can do it on her own.    thanks for letting me vent a little it has been hard at time but i have a good suport group of friends and family but sometimes i just need an out side opinion.  tahnks
You can read my other posts. they are pretty recent. but we are still together. it's tough at times. Its'been 3 months. we've got 3 beautiful small children and they are worth getting through this. We have more good days than bad.But about you It sounds like your girlfriend has a history of cheating. that must have been quite a shock. this is something she is going to have to overcome.  counseling would probably be good for both of you. there are some people that post on here that could probably give you some better advice then i could,as to why she keeps doing this and wether you should give it another chance. I don't feel qualified to answer that for you. But i do believe your heart wilI know when and if you can truly trust her. i hope you  recieve more input. i'd like to know the 4 step relapse prevention plan! maybe it would be of benefit to my husband  and other readers partners. 
 
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sage18951
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April 15, 2008, 1:38 pm PDT

Cheated On

Quote From: drewtime

how did you handle that. did you work through it or was it over. i have never truely loved anyone before and i opened my hart to her and was honest with her every day and we told each other that if we were ever unhappy we would just leave each other and not play games. i truely believed her. in her past relationships she was cheated on and did not want to put anyone else through that. i have come to find out that she was the one that cheated in all the relationships either first or after she found out he was. our relationship has had its ups and downs and i have been 100% honest with her and i have proof for i take polygraphs every six mounths and and they ask about my relationships and i have past everyone of them. and i have told her that i have. but she still accuses me of cheating on her. i know we have a long road ahead of us. she needs to find out what her core needs are and set up a relapse prevention plan to help her in the future. i have tried to teach her  RP and the 4-step many of times but she feels that she can do it on her own.    thanks for letting me vent a little it has been hard at time but i have a good suport group of friends and family but sometimes i just need an out side opinion.  tahnks

This is no way to have a relationship... taking polygraphs every six months. It seems like cheating is an acceptable way of life for her. You said that you have never loved anyone like this before. That is a tough "drug" to break off of.  You may feel like you will not find a love like this again, but you absolutely will. 

 

At the very least, maybe take a 3 month break to get your head together. If she truly loves you, she will understand and be there at the end of three months. If she truly loved you, she would be sensitive to your feelings and needs and do anything to prove her faithfulness.
 
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