Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

Hi all! It's been a long time since I've been on here. If you remember me, my marriage is still not where is should be. The last time I was on I talked about the amount of time my wife spends on the phone with this guy. This is still going on but I am still in a position not to say anything with out it coming back on me and making me the bad guy.

Here's the deal. Back in January we had a discussion about her talking and what my fears were. She got angry and accused me of wanting to take more away from her, referring to her friend and there daily conversations. I brought up all the information about emotional affairs and that  how destructive it is and that those involved don't realize it. She completely denies it and that she knows that is not what's happening. So anyway, she said that she would cut back and for me not to worry. Well, I'm still worried. After she gets off the phone she will have a different attitude towards me. Before she talks she may be joking around or be more talkative around me but after she gets off the phone it's like a switch has been flipped.

Just recently I talked to her about it and she said that she doesn't have that much time to talk to him anymore because she's going to school and has to study so it may only be 5 to 10 min. But it's still every day. So that brings me to my question. I have gained access to her cell phone account. She did not give me the password though. I just needed to know what was really going on. I've gone back to January to see just how much she is talking. In Jan she talked for 27 hrs, Feb 33 hrs, march 21 hrs and April it's at 10 hrs. A total of 461 calls in less than 4 months. Now what I am worried about is that if I bring this to her attention she will accuse me of invasion of privacy. Is looking at her phone record invading her privacy? Am I justified in doing this? I am going to be made out to be the bad guy and she's going to blame me for her behavior. It will be turned into an issue of me offending her and trying to take away from her rather than focusing on what's really going on.

Does anyone have any advice?