Replies to 'Getting Along With Your In-Laws'

Quote From: doridoridori

 Well I need some advice and wonder if anyone can give it. See I have been married going on 17yrs been together since 1989. Long time. I am having just another hard time with the husbands side.This is what is going on right now. On the morning of Feb3rd I kicked my husband out of the house. Asked him to leave and he did so willingly and quickly. Lots of words back and forth not very nice. So as anyone knows this was a big day for all it was SuperBowl Sunday. So he leaves. Upset as I am I decide to just hang around the house with my children. We  have 3. 15 daughter,13 son, 6 daughter. My children are also upset as this is the first time anything like this has happend. We had not been getting along for sometime due to lots of stressers, kids stuff, money and other issues. So anyway later that afternoon my mother in law comes to pick up my son to bring him to her house so he can watch the game with his dad and all of them. No problem. I send him out when she comes as I do not want to engage in any conversation at this time with anyone about anything going on. So she gets out of the car and he comes out and when he gets in the car she asks him if I sent him out and he says no. Well of course I did.. not sure why he said no but he did. So the day goes and around 4:30 I take my youngest over to a neighbors house to watch the game with them and friends and have a few beers while the kids are all playing and we are yelling and hollering watching the game. I see it is half time and I decide time to go and get my little one in bed for the evening she has school in the morning so we leave and I stop over another house where my oldest daughter is with her boyfriend and mother. I go in say hey have another beer talking about the game and she says my daughter can stay here tonight and I will take her to school in the morning. I was like no she is not and she can come home after the game I will come get her or she can walk it is not far. So I leave and put my youngest to bed crack another beer and put the t.v. on and wait for my Son to come home and my daughter. In the mean time I listen to my messages and hear my daughter telling me how she is going to stay over there and she will come get her stuff. It was left earlier in the evening but I was not in because I was a neighbors house like I had told them. So I am upset about this and when she comes home I confront her with it.. She would of never pulled such a stunt if my husband had been here. We get into an argument and I ask her if her Father knows about it and that I think he has a right to know that your already starting crap. So I call him and come to find out she had already talked with him and asked him. His response to her was you would never ask that if I was home no you go home. Well my daughter ended up leaving on me so I called him back and said we got into a fight and you need to come and get her. I am not doing this. So we hang up and a while later I call him back and he tells me we are on our way. So I say what do you mean WE? He said my mother and I. I was like why is your mother with you? I had a few drinks and she would not let me take the truck.. Ok.. so then next thing I know my Mother in Law is at my door with my daughter. I open the door and she comes in the door way pushes the downtstairs door open and watches my daughter go down the stairs and looks at me and says stay away from her the rest of the night. I look back at her with very much anger and say I have no intentions of going near her. But I will tell you one thing I am not dealing with this crap going on in my house. She was like what Crap and I said this crap with her. So she says well stay away from her the rest of the night or I will call the Police on you. at that I start screaming at her to get the @#@$ out of my house. I take her by her arms and make her leave and shut the door. At this point my son wakes up and is horrified and we lock the door. Next thing I know she is back again I open the door (so stupid I wish I had not) and she starts telling my son to get his little sister that she is not leaving these kids here. So at that I start telling her who the hell do you think you are and I try and grab her again to get her out of the house letting her know she is not taking my children anywhere. Next thing I know my husband comes barrell assing threw the door and attacks me saying dont you ever put your hands on my mother and a physical fight occurs they have me pinned up against the wall and my mother in law is screaming wake your sister and at some point we all end up on the ground I think I grabbed her as he was after me so I thought if I am going down so are you. So now she is yelling call the police call the police as my husband and I are fighting and she is in the middle and then my daughter gets into it with us and it finaly stops and I grab the phone from my son who is crying and all upset and call the police. The cops come and talk with my husband and mother in law who at this point are outside in the driveway telling them I am inside intoxicated.. I call my bestfriend an tell her she may have to bail me out because at this point I dont know what is going to happen. I told the woman on the phone at the police that a fight had escolated and I wanted my husband and mother in law removed from my home. Well this is not what happend. I ended up having to leave and stay at my girlfriends for the night and can come back in the morning as I was the aggressor in the fight. My mother in law got a cut on her head that he said she was not going to press charges as I am looking at the cop going you have got to be kidding me. what about me being attacked. so anyway what happend was I got a 51a filed against me for neglect and abuse because my daughter got a huge cut on her arm that I guess came from me in the middle of brawling with my husband and they both stepped into it.. Believe me I am horrified about this whole thing and wish it never happend but in the momment what choice did I have but to deffend myself. So anyway I have been dealing with this since. My husband and I are back together and I have been dealing with DSS and they know I am far from a neglectful parent or an abuser. WE have had a lot of stress in our life for the past 3-4 years and it just built up and without the support from him I could not take anymore. So my mother in law has never heald it against me we have been fine and I aplogized to her for everything that happend that night I also sent a long heartfelt letter to all of his family members to explain what happend an that I was very sorry there mother/ wife got hurt and that I will not be drinking another alcohloic drink in a long time and I will work on my issues. I never meant for any of what took place that night to happen it just broke loose. It is my sister in law and brother in laws that have not spoken to me once since then. My 40 birthday has come and gone not even a phone call from my godson. Not one phone call here to see how I am dealing or how things are. Nothing. So recently my daughter got confirmed and I decided that if they want to have nothing to do with me then they are not welcome in my home. I did not invite them. I sent an invitation by e-mail to my mother in law letting her know what time and where and that I would be having everyone back at my house after. She decided to take it opon herself to forward it to her daughter and other daughter in law. I was not inviting them back to my home so I e-mailed her and told her that I did not send it to them for a reason and that if they wanted to come to the church that was fine but they would not be welcome in my home after. So because of that my mother in law and father in law did not come back to my home either as she told me it is not fair that they are not welcome. OK!! But it is ok to just treat me like I dont exsist an I am supposed to be ok with this? I dont think so. So I am just wondering what and how to deal with it.. Did I do the right thing? Was I wrong? My husban is behind me and I did explain that this is not how family should be, your supposed to support them not treat them like this. Anyone have any comments or thoughts on how to just move forward. I was not the only one involved that night but am the only one who ever gets treated like this. It is not the first time I have taken the full blame for things..