Replies to '04/25 Confronting Grandpa'

 
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April 19, 2008, 10:29 am PDT

I was wondering the same

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 
If she knew this monster did this to her why would she leave her kid with him?!! My kid sister was molested by our family member and to this day I refuse to let my daughter any where near that person.
 
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April 25, 2008, 8:56 am PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 
WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW, IT COULD HAVE BEEN HER ONLY OPTION, FOR FINANCIAL REASONS. HER MEMORIES WERE ALSO SEEMING REPRESSED, SHE KNEW IT HAPPENED, BUT I THINK HIS TYPE OF SICKNESS WAS DIRECTED TOWARD VERY PRE-PUBESENT CHILDREN, SO TRAUMA AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE WOULD BE BLOCKED. THIS STORY REALLY RIPPED AT MY CORE, I WAS ALSO ANOTHER STATISTIC OF MY UNCLE, ALTHOUGH AS MEMORY SERVES IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AND I TOLD, I WAS 7. I WAS NEVER LEFT ALONE AROUND HIM AGAIN. BUT IT WAS KEPT QUITE AMOUNG THE FAMILY. I STILL HAVE TO SEE HIM AROUND HOLIDAYS, IT'S HARD. I NEVER, NEVER LEAVE MY CHILDREN WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE OF HIM, I TOLD MY DAD HE IS NEVER TO BE AROUND THEM WHEN I'M NOT THERE, HE KNOWS WHY AND RESPECTS THAT. ALSO, PLEASE NEVER BLAME THE VICTIM, HER LIFE HAS I'M SURE BEEN FULL OF ALOT OF SORROW AND DEPRESSION. I HOPE THE TAKE THIS TO THEIR LOCAL D.A. AND I HOPE PARKER AND HIS MOM CAN HEAL. I ALSO PRAY THAT THE GRAND-MOTHER'S CHURCH, FAMILY AND FRIENDS CAN GET HER VISION CLEAR, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM HIM, HE IS A DARK DARK PRESENCE.
 
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April 25, 2008, 2:03 pm PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 

She was abused and when she finally started to remember and get help for what happend to her she did stop bringing her son to her father.  It's hard to explain and hard for people who havn't been abused to accept or understand.  If she had a clear memory or even thought that something might have happend from her father or he might be dangerous still,  she would have done it sooner. 

 
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April 25, 2008, 2:17 pm PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 

I guess I am one of the few but I didn't believe her. I think she was attention seeking.  It all seemed to go back to her. Even when her child was mentioned she still made it about her.

 

Why was the child around the grandpa?

Why wasn't something done along time ago?

If the child has been showing signs of abuse why wansn't this handled immediately. They didn't seem to be a family in financial distress- even though I don't know that.

 

But what if her father did admit what he had done in the past and I know that everyone says people don't change- well- With Gods help they can.

We don't know this man or his relationship with god. We are judging him- Isn't that also a sin?

 

I know this sounds crazy from a person that has been through similar things that she has been through- however-

I hope that they all get help so that the healing process can begin.

 

 
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April 25, 2008, 2:41 pm PDT

All this helped me a lot..

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 
English is not my frist language so mistakes will be  made ... I excuse myself.

I was molested by my father at a very young age.  But I never molested any friends nor classmates.  I looked normal for a very long time, but when 18 arrived something happened to me. I was totally unable to move ahed and grow up, emotionally.  I began to get depressed, had only 2 boyfriends and married the second one.  When married I never had sex with him and my emotional health began to get bad, really bad.

Slowly and with some help I began to know what happened to me. It was a relief to feel freedom from that heavy "thing" that was one me... I know that it happened to me.

My mom kicked me out of the family, my brother does not talk to me since 1995, and had to engage live alone, coming from a live of abundancy being poor and alone was a hard thing to engage.  My mom hates me,  my brother does not talk to me since 1995.  Worked hard on growing up and it was a search and walk to my freedom.  I remember my dad when confonted with other matters (he got sick and I was never able to confront him)  he reacted exactly like this man/father/granpa did today.  The way her brother acted was close to my own brother's reaction, but this man on the show was somewhat more intelligent then my brother.  BUT ... he never ever walked toward her sister and hugged her, nor did the mother.

They are embarrased by what they did not do, they feel small in from of everybody for they did not stand for their own, they feel stupid because a guy in a suit and TV show was able to put it all out in a 2 hour show, when this family had it for several decaded and did NOTHING about it.

Now I understand a bit more, of my own situation.  I am sorry that this lady had to expose her live on the TV to get some answers... but if she reads this, let her now that I cried like her (exact same way) I have the same scars and there is healing. We are not machines there will be consecuences  BUT it will be better yet not perfect.  Let her know too that I thank her for what she did, it helped me.
 
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April 25, 2008, 3:02 pm PDT

Questions for Dr. Phil

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 

Dr. Phil,

 

I am disappointed in the fact that  you didn't ask one of the most obvious questions.  If this woman believed that she was molested by her father, then why would she ever have allowed her child to be around this man, and further, why would she have allowed him to spend the night at her parents home, under any circumstances?   This seemed rather conflictive with her story, raising many questions as to her own credibility.

There were many unanswered questions that should have been addressed. 

How old was the father when he and his siblings were engaging in sexual activities.  As a foster parent, I had five children, all siblings, who were close in age, and had experimented sexually with each other when living with their parents.   When this information came to my attention, I arranged for these children to have in-depth counseling.  During the counseling, the counselor explained that this was not considered children molesting each other, they were all acting out what they witnessed in their home, and because of their ages, this was considered experimentation.   So, could this have been similar in his household, as I didn't hear this topic explored in depth or hear the ages of the siblings at the time of the incidents.    I am in no way taking sides with this man, and if he committed these atrocities, then he should be punished accordingly, however, I got the sense that there is more to this story than was provided on your show.   Also, I would like to see this man take two more polygraph tests with two separate independent sources, to see if the results are the same.   I am not trying to offend the person you used, however, in my experience in law enforcement, those tests are only as good as the individual who is interpreting them.  They can be subjective, therefore, it would be fair to have other sources repeat the test, to see if the result is the same.   In my experience in law enforcement, it is not completely unreasonable for someone to interpret these tests,  with the results leaning towards the clients expectations, it happens all of the time.   Having said that , in all probability the man is guilty, as pedophiles do not rehabilitate, and he could be in complete denial, using his religion as a place to assuage his guilt.   The person that I see here who is most culpable, is the wife of this man.  She clearly admitted knowledge of his behaviors, and witnessed first-hand the abuse of the daughter, which defies all logic!   Apparently, she was more concerned about her own financial or emotional security than her own daughters, which is horrendous and a very selfish position to take!!   It also makes me believe that she knows much more than she revealed on stage today.   She attempted to take a victim role for sympathy purposes, pathetic at best.   Only when she felt the sting of the audience, did she pull away from her security blanket, appearing to be appalled at the developments.  In a trial of peers, she would certainly be considered guilty of not protecting her daughter, and it was very interesting how quickly she withdrew her support of him, as soon as she realized this was not going in his favor.  I felt she was not being honest in her responses, and to suggest that she and her husband are not really together, yet sleep in the same bed,  then pointing out "But it is a queen-sized bed"  as though that made all the difference and demonstrated that she was not close with him - what a joke!!!  I was most offended by her and her passive-aggressive behavior.  If I were here daughter, I would seriously question her mother's lack of ethics and credibility.  For what she allowed at the age of two weeks, as there is absolutely NO viable excuse for how she responded in  that situation!   I guess, that when and if he goes to jail, she will not have to worry about losing her home or security, unless her daughter decides to sue them in civil court for everything they've got, and she should!  

Still, the question remains - why did the daughter allow her son to be in the presence of this man, if she believed that she had been molested.  She has to take accountability for her own actions regarding that situation, as she was his protector, and it would seem that she allowed a known predator to prey on her own child.  That part is very confusing, as I can't imagine ever allowing my own child to be with someone who I believed had done such horrible things to me!  I guess the truth is somewhere in the middle!

 

 

 
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April 25, 2008, 3:17 pm PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 
She stated she did not remember being abused by him until Parker was several years old. After that she did not allow him to be alone with him.
 
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April 25, 2008, 4:17 pm PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 
She let her father near her son because she has only recently discovered the fact that her father abused her. This is fairly new to her. She is 27 and had her son 12 years ago. I'm sure her father hasn't been around him since she has had her suspicions. On the previous show, it sounded like she was pretty messed up when she had her son at an early age so her parents did a lot of babysitting for her. The abuse obviously happened to Parker when he was young and she was unaware of what had actually happened to her.
 
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April 25, 2008, 8:56 pm PDT

04/25 Confronting Grandpa

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 
Why is this man not in Jail??
 
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April 25, 2008, 10:18 pm PDT

PLEASE!!

Quote From: mrsparker

Why did she let this man arround her child after what he did to her.  My father molested my oldest sister and he only saw my daughter in my presents never alone.   Not even if I had to use the rest room.  I dont understand why people  say don't smoke don't drink  but say nothing about don't leave your child alone with the person that molested them. 

Can we PLEASE stop blaming the victim??!!

 

Lets put our energy and anger where it belongs, towards the perps....If we would quit blaming the victims they might come forward sooner and more often to get rid of these offenders,

 

In order to survive victims sometimes "forget" what happened. It is very common for their memories to be jogged by some outside reasons, such as seeing their child the age that they were abused as a child.

 

She may have been confused about the pregnancy as that was probably a huge fear she lived with everday and had nightmarea about it many nights, till she didnt realize if it was true or not...do we know if this is totally untrue?? I wouldnt be surprised if it was true.

 

Was he questioned about his behavior towards his grandaughters, his sons kids??

 

This guy CANNOT go to camp...cannot!!!! Oh my god he SCREAMS abuser!!!!!!!!

 


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