Replies to '04/21 The Dr. Phil House: House of Greed, Part 2'
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April 21, 2008, 6:19 pm PDT
 Quote From: anon_slc If you are with in a family relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained. You operate your life based on this expectation. When a family member in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful. Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight into family systems and dysfunctions are:
How to Settle An Estate by Charles Plotnick and Stephan Leimberg AND High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss OR Behind the Masks: Personality Disorders in Religious Behavior by Wayne Oates What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse: Breaking the Cycle of Violence by Vernon Wiehe OR Understanding Family Violence: Treating and Preventing Partner, Child, Sibling and Elder Abuse by Vernon Wiehe The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman OR Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships...by Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin
Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge OR Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak How to Journal for Therapy: http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm
Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits. Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.
There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out. Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining. Make a promise to yourself to leave. Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery. Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, supportive, and fulfilling life. Hope it helps!
WHEN DID IT BECOME GOOD MANNERS TO DISCUSS ONE"S WILL? BY DOING SO THIS MOTHER PLACED HER YOUNGER DAUGHTER IN A POSITION TO BE RESENTED MY HER SISTER. THAT POOR GIRL WAS RESENTED BY HER SISTER FOR BEING BORN IN THE FIRST PLACE. SHE WAS THE ONLY CHILD FOR A LONG TIME BEFORE HER SISTER CAME ALONG. IT WAS UP TO HER TO EMBRACE HER LITTLE SISTER, RATHER THAN BUILDING UP ALL THE HATRED. THE MOTHER"S RESPONSIBILITY WAS TO REASSURE HER CHILD THAT DESPITE THE NEW BABY IN HER LIFE, SHE WAS LOVED AND ALWAYS WOULD BE. OBVIOUSLY SHE WAS NOT ABLE TO DO THAT, SO THE GIRL PROBABLY FELT; IN HER CHILD MIND THAT SHE WAS BEING REPLACED. HAVING SAID THAT----I HAVE ONLY ONE DAUGHTER AND SHE ANNOUNCED LAST YEAR THAT SHE HATES ME. WHY? I DO NOT KNOW. BUT, I DO KNOW YOU CAN"T WIN WITH CHILDREN. ESPECIALLY IF YOU SPEND MORE TIME TRYING TO PLEASE THEM THAN YOU DO YOURSELF. |
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