Replies to '04/24 A Boy in Trouble'
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April 24, 2008, 7:24 am PDT
 Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. You are a very brave woman for confronting your sperm donor the way you did. I 100% agree with your post about all judgements. If you notice (even in recent posts on stories) all people do is finger point. They think they have all solutions to every problem and they are all right. I give you much kudos Sherie-lynn!!! |
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April 24, 2008, 1:10 pm PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. I am bumping this as I think some of you that are blaiming the mom of this boy need to realize that she didn't have memories and once she did she cut all ties read above.
I have a 19 yo cousin I truly believed was sexually abused but she doesn't admit to because I believe she doesn't remember. it happens so before you post just remember this. from the words of the mother. |
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April 24, 2008, 7:13 pm PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. I am bumping this so all get a chance to read her response. |
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April 24, 2008, 7:34 pm PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. I comend you for looking for help and coming to the Dr. Phil show. God knows you really need it. Please take all the help you can get from Dr. Phil. You are a very troubled. Your mother should be ashamed of herself to think she stood by a jerk like she did. They both deserve to go to jail and toss the key. Neither of them deserve to be called Mother or Father. Hang in there and let today be the first day of the rest of your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.
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April 25, 2008, 1:12 am PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. For being brave.
People have no real idea what its like up on that stage.
Your brought to Paramount lot from a hotel 10 minutes away (hours before the show.....)
Than you are put back stage in a waiting room with couches and mirror maybe your heart is racing and your mind.NEXT>>>>>>>>>>...off to hair and make up.
Nerves inside of you for:
1. Finally bringing all of this to the surface. 2. Having to look across at people who have let you down your whole life. 3. Strangers in the audience. 4. Lights and cameras and crew. 5. Lets face it DR PHIL. 6. Over 10 million people worldwide!
People who may be well intended however if you were NEVER sexually abused you all really have no clue.
You may suspect the abuse...you may remember it...you may not regardless of any of this......
FAMILY is suppose to protect you right?
So if your borderline remembering or faint flashes exist inside your minds-eye why wouldn't you bring your kid to your family right?
You don't want to blame anyone for anything unless your sure right?
A sexually abused person lives in a fragmented state whether YOU out there can believe it or not. I'm not trying to sell this to you message board IT AIN'T FOR SALE!!
Most sexually abused people have the same "LABEL" as Vietnam Vets PT SD.
(POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER) This is like a movie that plays in your head ONCE the abuse is confirmed.
Any people on here who have never been SEXUALLY ABUSED shouldn't say a damn word.
You all sound stupid with your VICTIM BLAMING COMMENTS.
Those who have supported this woman and her child BRAVO!
I hope you your son and your husband get the help you need.
I hope your FATHER gets locked up.
As far as your MOM goes well she is just pathetic and please decide very carefully IF YOU WANT her to remain in your life.
It is very empowering to release ALL TOXIC relationships from your life and quite frankly you are being too kind to a woman who WAS NEVER kind and protective of you!
GODBLESS YOU!~ |
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April 25, 2008, 7:05 am PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them.
A bunch of us gather together here on the message board. We discuss the topic of the day. Some of us participants have been abused, ourselves and we are too educated. On this board, we are allowed all the accusations, anger and finger pointing that we feel appropriate. (It is foolish on our parts, but we are allowed our own opinions) You are not the only one who has coped with your own abuse by an attack of hysterical amnesia. It is awful. I have buried mine so deeply I am not sure this happened once or dozens of times. Could Dr. Phil explain dissociation?
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April 25, 2008, 11:50 am PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. I had a very tumultuous relationship with my family over the years. Suddenly six years ago, my brother was hit by a stray bullet and killed. Everything (the mental and physical abuse) was forgiven because we had lost my brother. I had to go 5 hours from home everytime for court to help my parents and support them.
I had never stayed overnight at their house since moving out 16 years before. Imagine my horror when a year later, my 12 year old tells me what my father has done to her while we were at their house - dealing with court for the murder of my brother. This came up a week before the murder trial was to start.
He blamed my daughter who was 11 years old when it started... for seducing him, I never saw my mother, father, brother or sister again - that was five years ago. They all beat the crap out of my dad and freaked out that night.... but it was time to hide and keep a big secret. And I... went to the police (who failed us miserably).
We healed from this because we never saw them again. I looked at my Dad and said you will never see her again and I was right. If I could have got away with it, I would have killed him. But my love for my husband and children kept me from doing what I most wanted... because he's not worth spending my life in jail for.
By the way, you would never suspect it - my parents are normal middle-class fakers who sit in church every sunday. Believe me that's where the danger is.... right in the family.
Today my daughter is 17 and strong and a community leader - because I believed her... and she never had to see the predator again. I am heavily involved in the community as well and have started a youth program for ages 12 - 17 - to give teens a place to be safe and accepted. 35 kids showed up at the first meeting. That's how I healed. And you can too.
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April 25, 2008, 5:25 pm PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. Sherri-lynn is that really you? I want you to know that you are totally brave! I can understand repressed memories and how you could have thought you pregnant and lost the baby and then it wasn't reality. Read my first post on this topic if you would like details of my experience. I don't think I want to type it all out again, I was on going on and on, it's titled. Memories.
When I was about 22 I started to have dreams about abuse I totally didn't remember. My brother told me he had remembered me and him being sexually abused as kids without me ever mentioning it. Then I knew it wasn't just bad dreams, and then I started to have flashbacks while I was awake. I also had dreams that I don't know if they happed or not. I suspect my father touching me sexually, but never clearly remembered it. I did however never forget the physical abuse.
I feel for you and wish you to be happy and free of hurt and pain! It has been about 10 years now since I "remembered" and the 5 year was the hardest, hopefully your good times will come BIG TIME, soon! And Parker too. I will pray for you ...
Side note: Don't let your fathers wacked sense of God or Jesus rob you of spirituallity) I don't know exactly what spirtuality I have but is part Buddist, (karma, ect.) Christian, Taoist, its a UNDESCRIPTABLE belief that no matter what the love of The Universe will guide us all to what we need.
ANYWAY... I want the best for you and am sending you positive vibes.
LOVE iloveshars
PS You looked great on TV no matter how sad you were. I am a straight girl, but I had to tell you you are beautiful! |
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April 26, 2008, 5:17 am PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. SheriLyn, I understand how you could leave your son with your father in light of repressed memories. People who haven't gone through what we have can't understand. I do. I am so glad you are getting your son the help he needs. I saw your exhusband and your current husband on the stage with you. I wrote an essay on my experiences and as I wrote it, I realized it was a few men who abused me, but many men who helped me recover. If you like, I can email you a copy of the essay. Stay strong. Jane |
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April 26, 2008, 9:11 pm PDT
Quote From: sllynn
I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air. How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.
The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.
As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area. My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one. We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.
Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years.
It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child. If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......
I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.
Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police. I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities. I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.
When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.
Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them. Sherry Lynn, i was in tears along with you because i understood your pain. i was sexually abused by my brother and although i remembered it, it was kind of on a back burner in my brain and i was numb to it until recently. I know how you feel and know that you are truly in pain. I can see you forgive your mom because she has truly begun to see how she erred in her ways. My mom still hasn't and believes she did the right thing (which was essentially nothing except try to get help for him). My heart was torn in two watching you break down like that and just know that Al has no rights to see your son. Do not worry about his feelings at all (cuz as caring people i know we have those fleeting moments). You need to coninue to do what you are doing and protect your son. Al was smiling and laughing....how could he do that even if he did to you what he did "only" once. truth is, you can almost just say, you know what? I don't care about the other two times, you did it to me as a newborn baby and that is enough for me to keep away. Stay strong girl. I wish you the best and i feel a connection to you though we obviously don't know each other. It's just that i am going through my crap with the sexual abuse now. Interesting timing. you did not do ANYTHING WRONG! You're an excellent mom, woman so be strong. Sorry for all that you are going through and continue to go through. Peace. |
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