Quote From: tray00NOt sure if I can help you are not, but my son (when he was that age) didn't do well in school either, actaully he would do assigments and one night we stayed up late to finnish it (I helped him) and then he didn't even hand it in! I didn't find out until report cards that he didn't hand it in, I couldn't figure out why when I even helped him with it.
He was suppose to get his homework journal signed everyday by me, and he would forget it, and things like that. I talked to alot of parents, some with kids the same age and some older who went through the same thing. A few of them said, it is his life, back off, he will realize on his own. This was hard for me to do as I want the best for my son. But I was tired of phone calls and emails. So I did, I backed off. He is now 15 and I havent' got a call from the school since grade 8! (he is in grade 10) He does it on his own.
I had to go to a meeting at his school yesterday and it went as as expected -- stepson isn't doing his homework/assignments and isn't coming to class prepared (no pen or pencil even!). He is even failing GYM because he isn't bringing his gym clothes -- to make matters worse they are in his school locker! He owes work in every class but one (Science --and Science is the class that the teacher was at the meeting -- she says she is constantly on him which is why he is up to date!)! They called him to the meeting when we were done talking to talk to him as well. He just sat there with such an "I don't care attitude!" His attitude is "I don't want to be here -- I want to be at my mom's cause she won't bug me to do schoolwork etc!" He was told to see his teachers for the makeup work -- I even told him to go after school if he needed to....and he comes home with only a Science ditto (the only class he is not behind in).
In the past, his teachers' and I signed his homework planner to make sure he was writing down the assignments and doing them but we all felt that he is 13 now and when he goes to high school next year he won't get treated that way -- he will have to be responsible for himself so we are trying (with no luck yet) to get him to do it himself....
His dad grounded him for lack of homework/effort etc. which means no TV, computer, phone or hanging out with friends. He can still go to chess club though because we feel chess club is good for his thinking as well as socially. He decorated his pumpkin last night with dad (cleaned it out and made pumpkin seeds...etc.) and then he got ready for bed but I am dreading today after school (whether he gets the makeup work or not and then when homework is done and wants to watch tv or go online or go out with friends....) when I have to be the evil stepmom. He kept telling me stories last night of things other adults have said to him about me (mostly his mom) and I know he was just trying to hurt me cause he wants me to not to care and he wants his mom!
His sister had a rude awakening last year when she went into high school and the first semester progress reports came out -- she tried to do makeup work for missing assignments and she was reminded that there is no makeup work in high school. If they don't do an assignment it is a zero. If they are out sick, it is their responsibility the day that they are back to get the work and do right away -- some classes it is due the following day. She straightened out and is doing extremely well now (well I get progress reports next week so we'll see for sure but she has been holding her own and being responsible ever since she started.) She will be 16 and I realize that girls mature faster than boys but I keep hoping that her brother will become more responsible.
