Quote From: justmarrI just got married a couple months back after dating my husband for 2 yrs. During this time of dating, we had a lot of issues with his ex. We got over it, but now everytime during and after sex or even when i'm just sitting I keep wondering how many partners he's had and he refuses to tell me when i ask him. do i need to know or should i let it go. I had never had sex with anyone until we got married, so is really fair that he doesnt want to open up?
Can I ask why you never requested this information prior to marriage? This is not an unreasonable thing to want to know especially in today's day and age. Why you wouldn't have wondered about this prior to committing your life to this man is a bit troubling.
I'd suggest a sitdown, heart-to-heart with him. Know this though, he may not open up to you. He may tell you what he thinks you want to hear. Or he may spill his heart about all of his past experiences. The important thing is not what you get from him, but what you give to him: how you feel. At the very least he needs to know how not knowing this information is affecting you.
If you are wondering about this during and after sex, is the sex really satisfying to you and him? My guess would be no, that there is a lot lacking from your intimacy. That needs to be discussed. Maybe that will be enough to nudge him into opening up. Don't expect this but it couldn't hurt. Opening up about your feelings is important, even if he doesn't reciprocate.
