Quote From: luka1978nlI see alot of people who haven't experienced sexual abuse in the family think the reaction to this sort of violation is simple: educate children about abuse, confront the abuser, throw him/her/them in jail etc. But it is not this simple and only people who have experienced incest in the family know this.
I was educated about sexual abuse by my parents, yet I didn't report the abuse that was going on. I dissociated almost everything and concerning the things I did remember, I was ashamed, felt guilty and was afraid. And I was loyal to my family, yes, to my abuser.
My parents thought everything was fine, but my older brother abused my younger brother in the meantime. My younger brother only told my parents and me of the abuse when he was in his 20's. He was frightened, felt guilty and ashamed.
My grandfather (now deceased) abused my two aunts (his daughters), and although my parents knew this, they let me sleep there anyhow. Why? They thought my grandmother would keep her eyes open, they thought he was old, they didn't know the mind of an incest perp.
You think it's easy to throw the perps in jail? No way! It's very traumatic for your child to say everything about the abuse (s)he experienced, hear the abuser and his/her lawyer say that it didn't happen and finally to hear the perp being let free because of lack of evidence.
Please, don't judge so quickly!
THANK you!! I agree with you 110%. Although I do agree with others and all child molesters NEED to be behind bars, it's hard for a child (like I was) to actually explain everything .. I was already broken.. but at the time I didn't realize it. I only knew what was going on was not right and I needed to tell someone but he was never turned in because they left the decision up to me (a 13 yr old at the time) to take him to jail. I lived in a different state and only visited them in summer time...my family back home didn't know what was going on and I was told to keep it on the downlow EVEN after I told my abusers wife (my stepgrandma) and his daughter (my stepmom). It's scary because now I think about it, this man has 3 sons which are all grown and they have children of their own.. they also have all sons but they are little .. I hope and pray everynight that they aren't going thru what I did and if they are, it's all my fault. It's hard to live with it. :[
