Replies to '08/04 Daddy Drama'

mima,

How can anyone expect these two girls to react to this man in any other way than shock.  He showed up at the oldest one's work in drag and called the youngest one on her 12th birthday and told her during that phone call.  I believe that the girls are tired of dealing with his drama.  The show isn't able to show all of the drama that these two girls have gone through.  This latest drama is the most outlandish. 

I wish everyone didn't expect a 21 year old and a 13 year old to act better than the dad.  They are trying so hard to deal with it.  Isn't it obvious that the dad doesn't care what they think anyway??  How much emotion do you see from the dad versus the emotion that you see from the daughters.  Think about that.

What a stunning display of ignorance. As she said, "Do you think I just woke up one day and decided this would be fun?" If her decision was the cowards way out, then tell me, what were the other options? For many with GID, the only other option is to not live. Would that have been more noble to you? Kayla obviously loves her children. Trans people often wait this long BECAUSE of their children. The other reasons include fear, denial, or lack of courage to be who they know  they are. As a male to female transexual, I can tell you that our friends and family are ALL we think about, most of the time.   Do you really think we don't think about all of this? That we don't agonise over it? Don't cry our hearts out? Don't postpone because of the hurt we know will result? Do you??? People do get hurt when someone transitions. It is for the most part, unavoidable. And for the most part, as I watch this program, I don't think too many in the audience, and certainly not her daughters or the host, are really listening to her. 3 times, the  host has made a clever comment, leading to audience applause. This issue is more complicated than that. She is hurting, and would love to have her daughters back.

I do not agree with Kayla's decision to go ahead at the expense of the financial upkeep of her family. In order to transition, your financial obligations must be addressed first. Not every TS is perfect and makes the right decisions. But if you look at the applause lines in this show, it isnt about that. It's about marginalizing this person, and making every part of her decision look selfish, not just her questionable financial priorities. I understand the daughter's hurt, the younger one especially. But the older one has made it clear that despite her age and intelligence level, she is NEVER going to try to understand what has happened. Every time one of these girls makes a quip about not wanting  a "chick" for a father, and the audience breaks out in applause, I cringe. This is an effectively subtle way of putting this person constantly on the defensive. I realise there is a gender expert there, albeit one I have never heard of, but where is Kayla's therapist? Was she/he invited? Not one thing Kayla has said  durring this show has been met with any positivity or compassion.

Dr. Phil's assumption that he can read her every emotion is troubling. What is she to do? break down crying? beg? Perhaps she has, and cannot do it again, and be rebuffed. There is a history here that we will never know every detail of. I am not saying this person has handled every problem and hurt feeling well, I suspect that she has not, at times. But all I'm hearing from her daughters, is "you should not have done this. you need to be a man again". Absolutely no attempt to understand this issue. And again, whenever they say this, the audience cheers.

As transexuals, most of us have travelled a long and rocky road to get where we are. It is not our intent to make anyone uncomfortable, or  to hurt our loved ones. That breaks our hearts. I know as I go forward, the prospect of hurting some loved ones, and losing some friends is breaking mine to pieces.  To transition, and be me is not a choice I have. How I handle it is certainly within my power, and I hope I find the strength and sensitivity to move forward responsibley.  But in my opinion, we are still viewed as selfish jerks and borderline freaks for needing to be who we are. The way this show was handled, for the most part, confirms that for me. Kayla has made some mistakes, but didnt deserve to be on the wrong end of every assumption durring this hour. We still have a long way to go, obviously.

I think it's awful for these young ladies, I can sincerely understand the way they are feeling. As a parent this man should be ashamed of himself, not because he chose to change his gender but because he should simpathize with his daughters. They already have there mother but need there father. I'm sure they can eventually accept the way he looks some day but want the dad they have always known. He may have changed what he looks like on the outside but doesn't have to change who he was on the inside with his daughters.

If you are not a transsexual, then you have no idea what you are talking about.

It is hard to figure out, before you realize that you are one.

Before you admit that you want to go for the body adjustment, you always first think about the loved ones.

When you finally have the courage to come forward, it means that this is the last resort.

I know this, because I looked lik a woman first and now I feel and look like  aman.

It was the best thing I ever did.

Yes, I was a transseual from female to male.

I think they need more time to settle this.

I think the father should have talked about this before he did this, not to convince him not to do this, but to prepare the children, try to make them understand (try).

I can imagine that his kids are confused, and I think he is in no position to ask anything from them then learning to accept this. And he should give them all the time they need to learn and accept  this.

Ofcourse he has the right to do this, as it is the only thing he could do to be happy with himself (I geuss), but he has no right to press it upon his children.

I hope they can work it out, but the children are very young, I keep my fingers crossed.

Dr. PhIl,

Don't foget to mention the clinical aspects of GID gender idnentity disorder its manifestation and representation in combination with underlying personality disorder. Don't blame the patients all the time.