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Replies to '07/25 "It's My Baby Too!"'
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April 30, 2008, 9:27 pm PDT
 Quote From: alinabrown Look, we don't know what kind of father this guy might have been, or might still be, but that little girl deserves the chance to know him as her father. I grew up with a father who didn't want me and I'm thoroughly frustrated that in a world where most men would have walked away and washed their hands of the big deal, this guy didn't and he's being punished. If there was a chance that my father, good, bad, or indifferent, actually wanted to be my father, I would have been over the moon. So, he's got a checkered past, as he calls it, and he doesn't know much about being a parent. We should be doing everything we can to help him overcome his obstacles instead of throwing more in his way. He's got a problem with drinking and breaking the law? There are treatment programs and half-way programs to help. He doesn't know how to provide child care? There are parenting classes out there. He's got a problem with employment and driving? There are job training programs available everywhere. I think it's ridiculous that this man, out of the millions of men who DO walk away, has been told that he can't be a father to his own child.
And, how hypocritical of the mother and her family to deny him the joy of knowing his child while they have the freedom to visit the child whenever they want. And, if it's an open adoption, then the father should have the same right of access as the mother, right?
Politicians and religious leaders stand in front of the cameras every day and talk about the breakdown of the American family. But, when push comes to shove, they're not doing anything to preserve the family, are they? Instead, they're using obscure laws to prevent a father from being a father. But, when my father didn't pay child support or make any effort to visit his children (my sister and me), where were the lawyers then? You can't make someone be a father but why in the world would you stop someone from being a father when he wants to? Is it me, or do we have our priorities seriously skewed in this country? I have gone through and read all of these messages and yours really brought to light what is really wrong with the "system". I had a bad situation back 15 years ago with my sons father. He didn't want to pay child support and we were constantly going to court. When things weren't going his way he decided on his own to take matters into his own hands. When my son was 10 years old he called my parents house and thrented my son. He said when and if we ever found my son it would be in a box 6 feet under. He also said he had people watching my parents house and that on his command their house would be torched, Yes the polce were called but nothing was done. Just because he didn't want to pay support. To make a long story short we went to court again and he told the judge that he wanted visitation rights after 10 years of not a phone call a birthday card nothing the judge gave him visation rights. Even after knowing what he did the threats all of it the judge knew but yet granted him visitation. The judge even had the police report. Well he didn't get it. In our lovely country that we live in my parents had to adopt my son so that this would not happen this is the only choice that we had. And believe me I was 30 years old at the time and that was and still is the hardest decision I have ever had to make. You might be asking what this has to do with Bryce and his little girl.......... If our courts and the "powers that be" can lay their heads on their pillows at night and be able to sleep knowing what trauma they have caused by playing God in their decision making then alls I can say to them is God help us. I really and truly believe this law needs to be thrown out. And for all you fathers out there that are at a turning point in your lifes like Bryce and trying to do what's right follow your hearts not your heads. Because 9 times out of 10 your hearts do know best. God bless.
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