Replies to 'Step-Parenting'

Quote From: shell2428

My husband and I have been married for 2 months now, but been together for 3 years. He has 2 children from a previous marriage, 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter. The problem is their biological mother has been causing alot of problems. When they first divorced, of course, she fought for custody of them (we later figured out was to prove herself, not because she really wanted them). She won primary custody, which most mothers do unless you can prove that they are an unfit parent. A year went by and my husband swore he would take her back to court. Around the time that he was beginning to look for anothing lawyer, she told him she would give him custody of the kids, because her other 4 children went to visit their father for the summer and he and his wife slapped her in the face with a restraining order because her brother had molested the 2 oldest daughters when they were younger. So, she could not afford to go back to court, and instead handed them over to us. About a month went by, and then, she and her 3rd husband moved to another state because she did not want to be around anyone here at all. She stayed there for 6 months, and then sent my husband a letter stating how she knew what she did was wrong and she was going to come back here and never leave the kids again. (She was coming back because her marriage was on the rocks and was going to leave her alcoholic husband.) My stepson was having a very hard time coping with her being gone. So, she came back and moved in with her friend so she could look for a job. She came here to visit with the kids a couple of times, introducing herself back into their lives. A few weeks ago, she informed my husband that she was going to go back to "end" things with her husband. She promised she would be back for the kids. A week went by, she said she was coming back she just needed money for gas. Supposedly, she was going to be getting money for it 2 weeks ago. Haven't heard anything since. It has been very hard on the kids. Surprisingly they don't ask about her much because they are used to her being absent from their lives. I just know this is going to be something they will have to cope with forever. My husband sent her an email (her phone is shut off) letting her know that he should have known that she did not come back here to be with them, only to get away from her husband. It has just been a very drama filled experience, and we are so angry with her for being so selfish. It is so hard for my stepson especially because he understands more what is going on. What is he supposed to think now when we tell him she has moved back up there? Before he would say, "If she says she loves me, why doesn't she come be with me?" I just don't understand how a mother can do this.