Quote From: florisotancI finally got up the nerve and joined an sa-anon group, and learned I am not stupid, it's not my fault, and he'll never let go of porn in any form. Twenty-three years of threats didn't work, marriage counseling didn't work, so now I've moved on and have a happy life without him. Meanwhile, he's alienated himself from his children, and now grandchildren to induldge himself. Oh well... it's all about choices.
His chains became mine and they were too heavy for me to carry. I held in for 7 years with a man that tried his best to convince me that his sexual addictions/perversions were non existent. Its a very sad place to be in.......denial of the truth.....and only the truth will free the soul to live free and without chains. It takes a person that can be introspective, reflective and open to the possibility that the way we do things, isn't necessarily the best choice. It is about choices.
I have been gone 7 months, free from a person that chooses to hide behind the world of porn; the comforts of cheating without having to prove faithfulness. For those that hide behind the fantasy world of sex and lust also hide other aspects of themselves. How could one person be one way in something, and different in others? We are who we are. Our actions this morning should mimic our actions tonite. When we start looking for reasons to do something we know is dangerous to ourselves or our relationships with others, we go into a state of attachment to that thing and it becomes us. No one can say then that porn is just fantasy, if we see it, we believe it to be true. So, it is cheating.
Its the not so sloppy :) way of going about getting sexual needs met without the intimacy. When a person seeks sex, most of the time, they are seeking sexual gratification, not intimacy. ie...strippers, prostitutes, etc. If sex is just for sex, then let them go and get "just sex". Leave me alone and let me find true intimacy and connnection with other human beings. Not a fantasy. Amen/
