Quote From: kimikomineOr are you suppose to think the way you do???? Why do you have to question how to think? Have you had difficultly doing so in the past? I am not being rough - :) I am just trying to figure out if you usually don't tell people how you feel and just keep it in.......?!
Of course you can't or don't want to, just jump in and get a divorce over porn use. Of course you want to find out if it is something he does occasionally or more? And then of course, you want to look at why you feel it ok that he lies to you.?
Why do you question yourself (especially since you got proof?) If he truly believes what you don't know won't hurt you.......can you honestly say that him not knowing how you feel, right now, at this moment, that it won't hurt him? Everything we do has potential to hurt someone if we are not as honest as we can be. The truth is painful, but a lie is unforgiving.
My (ex) husband used porn and thought it was ok too. I thought I thought it was ok too. grrrr. But what I found out is some people can look at porn and still have intimate loving relationships, and others cant' because learn to depend on it - like a waiting lover. If your man is lying to you about his porn use, he is more likely lying to you about other things. My husband lied to me about his porn use, phone sex, strip club ventures and possible prostitute usage. The thing is, once a person lies, anything they say after that can be seen as a potential to lie again.
YOu need to tell him that because he has lied to you, deceived you and blatently told you what you don't know won't bother you....he is disrespectful.....something that happens a lot with porn users. They treat women like their porn stars......sluts and only for their perusal. If he can't understand why his lying and porn use bothers you, then he is mentally disturbed or just being plain ol' narcissistic and selfish.
I have left my husband close to 8 months ago.........all I can say is "HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN, THE SKY ABOVE IS CLEAR AGAIN". We are here for you. I hope you can find it in your heart to know that your husband is not being very nice....and he is not being very married, either.
I understand what you are saying. My husband has looked at porn or movies on the computer a few times but not on a regular basics. But everytime ive confronted him about it he would rather me think that im stupid and it got there some other way. I know that hes not doing anything besides this because I honestly know where he is when he gets off work he stays home with the kids while I go to work, but yes he does lie to me about other things like when he spends money, not even really putting into concern that we might not beable to pay the bills or buy food. This has been an issue sence before we got married. Even if I have proof and ask him about something like an adult he either denies it or just wont talk about it. I know that he doesnt act married and I do love him but maybe hes just still not ready for the commitment and sacrifice that comes with a marriage. I think that he loves me but Im not sure that hes in love with me because eventhough men do it all the time. I dont think that he shows me the respect I deserve as a wife. I hate how I awnser my own questions sometimes but I still dont know what I should do?
