Replies to '05/09 Mama Drama'
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May 9, 2008, 3:54 am PDT
 Quote From: minister4him Well, I am weighing in here before seeing the actual program, but I would like to make two statements. One is in response to this message. I don't know what type of man Jessica's husband is. He may very well be a pig for not being more understanding of her situation/condition. But at the same time for you to say that he is a pig because he wants his wife to loose weight is also wrong. We are going from end of the spectrum to the other. You saying that because she has gotten pregnant and gained weight that its alright. Everyone woman is different, but having children is not an excuse for being overweight. My wife has had two children is now 40 years old and she is in better shape than the day we got married. Could Jessica's husband speak to her in a more loving way while conveying his dissatisfaction, I positive he could.
The next point that I would like to state would be directed toward a comment that Dr. Phil made during one the previews for this show. He asked Jessica if she gained this weight after getting pregnant? To which her response was "yes". Dr. Phil proceeded to ask who got her pregnant, at which point she looks at her husband. There so many places I could go here. Did he provide the sperm, yeah. Did she provide the egg, well yeah. Are we now to blame the husband fo the weight that our wives gain while being pregnant? If so, why stop there? We should be charged for every crime that any woman has committed from having Post Pardom Depression, and I could go on. C'mon, let's keep the blame where it needs to be. Jessica is responsible for her own body. What she needs to do is be satisfied with her own body. If this is the weight she is satisfied and being at, then so be it. It is also up to her to loose weight for her husband if she thinks that will please him, but she also needs to do because she wants to. Also, Jessica's husband need to come to grips that this may be the weight that Jessica will be. Did he marry her strictly for her looks? I am not a counselor, but I bet that if they are having problems in their marriage, even if Jessica looses the weight, something else is going to be the problem. I have more to say, but I will stop there. I totally agree with you. Dr. Phil's question put the blame for her weight gain on the husband, not on the person putting the food in their mouth. The husband can't help whether he is attracted to a heavy woman or not, although he doesn't have to be so ugly about it. She has 2 choices: lose the weight or lose the husband, neither loss sounds like a bad deal. |
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May 9, 2008, 7:51 am PDT
Quote From: minister4him Well, I am weighing in here before seeing the actual program, but I would like to make two statements. One is in response to this message. I don't know what type of man Jessica's husband is. He may very well be a pig for not being more understanding of her situation/condition. But at the same time for you to say that he is a pig because he wants his wife to loose weight is also wrong. We are going from end of the spectrum to the other. You saying that because she has gotten pregnant and gained weight that its alright. Everyone woman is different, but having children is not an excuse for being overweight. My wife has had two children is now 40 years old and she is in better shape than the day we got married. Could Jessica's husband speak to her in a more loving way while conveying his dissatisfaction, I positive he could.
The next point that I would like to state would be directed toward a comment that Dr. Phil made during one the previews for this show. He asked Jessica if she gained this weight after getting pregnant? To which her response was "yes". Dr. Phil proceeded to ask who got her pregnant, at which point she looks at her husband. There so many places I could go here. Did he provide the sperm, yeah. Did she provide the egg, well yeah. Are we now to blame the husband fo the weight that our wives gain while being pregnant? If so, why stop there? We should be charged for every crime that any woman has committed from having Post Pardom Depression, and I could go on. C'mon, let's keep the blame where it needs to be. Jessica is responsible for her own body. What she needs to do is be satisfied with her own body. If this is the weight she is satisfied and being at, then so be it. It is also up to her to loose weight for her husband if she thinks that will please him, but she also needs to do because she wants to. Also, Jessica's husband need to come to grips that this may be the weight that Jessica will be. Did he marry her strictly for her looks? I am not a counselor, but I bet that if they are having problems in their marriage, even if Jessica looses the weight, something else is going to be the problem. I have more to say, but I will stop there.
First, I never said he was a "pig". He married this woman, he committed before God and/or the court to be with this woman through "sickness and in health". He therefore has the problem- being shallow. Attraction extends beyond the physical, and if he wasn't attracted to anything but her body, then he shouldn't have made the commitment to be with a woman he had nothing in common with and wasn't attracted enough to her personality to LOVE her. He has to take accountability for walking down that aisle and signing that marriage license, because he has no one to blame but himself.
Second, just because she's big doesn't give him THE RIGHT TO ABUSE HER! This is ABUSE. Psychological and verbal ABUSE. Why is THAT okay? If you think it's okay to belittle someone to manipulate them into doing what you want them to, then I feel sorry for your wife and kids.
Third, I never said it was alright to carry a bunch of weight around. IF he truly loved his wife, he wouldn't ABUSE her, so maybe your theory about him being a pig was dead on. Has it occurred to you that maybe she has a health problem that keeps her from losing the weight? Hypothyroidism, depression, Cushing's Disease, PPD, Diabetes, and so on keep people from losing weight. You seem uneducated about this, but it's either extremely cruel or extremely ignorant to assume that 1) abuse is an efficient means to control your spouse in a slavery type situation and 2) The health of the woman doesn't matter or come into play.
Fourth, I have no doubt in my mind that Jessica is dissatisfied with her weight. Do you think she WANTS to be unhealthy? Do you think she WANTS her husband to call her names, worsen the abuse and cause her to eat MORE? This isn't an issue of man-hating, as she would be the pig if the roles were reversed. The crux of the issue here is the man's self esteem being so low that he has to "level" things to keep his wife down, a tactic used by trashy people. |
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May 9, 2008, 8:10 am PDT
Quote From: minister4him Well, I am weighing in here before seeing the actual program, but I would like to make two statements. One is in response to this message. I don't know what type of man Jessica's husband is. He may very well be a pig for not being more understanding of her situation/condition. But at the same time for you to say that he is a pig because he wants his wife to loose weight is also wrong. We are going from end of the spectrum to the other. You saying that because she has gotten pregnant and gained weight that its alright. Everyone woman is different, but having children is not an excuse for being overweight. My wife has had two children is now 40 years old and she is in better shape than the day we got married. Could Jessica's husband speak to her in a more loving way while conveying his dissatisfaction, I positive he could.
The next point that I would like to state would be directed toward a comment that Dr. Phil made during one the previews for this show. He asked Jessica if she gained this weight after getting pregnant? To which her response was "yes". Dr. Phil proceeded to ask who got her pregnant, at which point she looks at her husband. There so many places I could go here. Did he provide the sperm, yeah. Did she provide the egg, well yeah. Are we now to blame the husband fo the weight that our wives gain while being pregnant? If so, why stop there? We should be charged for every crime that any woman has committed from having Post Pardom Depression, and I could go on. C'mon, let's keep the blame where it needs to be. Jessica is responsible for her own body. What she needs to do is be satisfied with her own body. If this is the weight she is satisfied and being at, then so be it. It is also up to her to loose weight for her husband if she thinks that will please him, but she also needs to do because she wants to. Also, Jessica's husband need to come to grips that this may be the weight that Jessica will be. Did he marry her strictly for her looks? I am not a counselor, but I bet that if they are having problems in their marriage, even if Jessica looses the weight, something else is going to be the problem. I have more to say, but I will stop there. I wasn't blaming anyone, where did you get that?
The fact is, this is abuse, and this is NOT okay. He's a pig because he's abusing her and thinks leveling is an okay outlet. Losing weight after a baby isn't impossible, but it takes time (9months to put it on, 9 months to take it off), and even more time if you have physical problems (Hypothyroidism) or psychological (PPD).
Jessica isn't satisfied with the extra weight, she needs to get a physical to rule out he possible problems. If the shoe were on the other foot, the board would be littered with men (and women) denouncing her as the "b". And then other posters blaming him for being de-balled and taking it. So it comes down to blaming the victim of verbal abuse, which is probably a contributing factor to WHY she is overweight. |
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May 11, 2008, 8:06 am PDT
Quote From: minister4him Well, I am weighing in here before seeing the actual program, but I would like to make two statements. One is in response to this message. I don't know what type of man Jessica's husband is. He may very well be a pig for not being more understanding of her situation/condition. But at the same time for you to say that he is a pig because he wants his wife to loose weight is also wrong. We are going from end of the spectrum to the other. You saying that because she has gotten pregnant and gained weight that its alright. Everyone woman is different, but having children is not an excuse for being overweight. My wife has had two children is now 40 years old and she is in better shape than the day we got married. Could Jessica's husband speak to her in a more loving way while conveying his dissatisfaction, I positive he could.
The next point that I would like to state would be directed toward a comment that Dr. Phil made during one the previews for this show. He asked Jessica if she gained this weight after getting pregnant? To which her response was "yes". Dr. Phil proceeded to ask who got her pregnant, at which point she looks at her husband. There so many places I could go here. Did he provide the sperm, yeah. Did she provide the egg, well yeah. Are we now to blame the husband fo the weight that our wives gain while being pregnant? If so, why stop there? We should be charged for every crime that any woman has committed from having Post Pardom Depression, and I could go on. C'mon, let's keep the blame where it needs to be. Jessica is responsible for her own body. What she needs to do is be satisfied with her own body. If this is the weight she is satisfied and being at, then so be it. It is also up to her to loose weight for her husband if she thinks that will please him, but she also needs to do because she wants to. Also, Jessica's husband need to come to grips that this may be the weight that Jessica will be. Did he marry her strictly for her looks? I am not a counselor, but I bet that if they are having problems in their marriage, even if Jessica looses the weight, something else is going to be the problem. I have more to say, but I will stop there.
Let's clarify something for you. Jessica's husband IS a pig. This isn't a "men are pigs", misandry statement. This is directed to her husband because he treats her as less than human merely because she hasn't lost all the weight from two pregnancies that were very close together. When you have psychological abuse going on, the husband is partly responsible and blame-worthy. HE's the one who treats her worse than I'd treat any dog, and wonders why she turns to food to alleve the anxiety while giving up hope of ever regaining her shape.
I don't know about her, but when I'm anxious and pressured to lose weight, I start GAINING weight like crazy because I'm so hyperfocused on it and end up using food (the way cutters use knives) to alleviate anxiety. The moment I stop worrying about it, eat when I feel like eating and relax, I start losing. I cannot gain weight when I relax because 1) I stop using food for comfort 2) I feel good enough to get out and exercise 3) I focus on other activities/goals.
The sooner her husband SHUTS UP, the sooner his wife is going to drop the excess weight. If she has a physical or psychological impediment to the weight loss, then if he's supportive, she'll get it treated. He's adding gasoline to the fire and if he had any brains he'd stop with this "conditional love" garbage. He's no prize either- men who look like 12 yo girls are not that attractive- lets face it, he's not a well-defined man mountain. But you don't see her preying on HIS weakness do you? No, she has the class not to and gets verbally abused for it. |
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