Replies to '05/16 Spanking Scandals'
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May 10, 2008, 3:14 pm PDT
 Quote From: quilt3311 There is a huge difference between a spanking and abuse. When a child is small an open handed smack on the "well padded" backside gets their attention. I would NEVER allow a teacher to spank a child, they would have to contact ME and I would handle the situation. Also spanking should NOT be done while angry. A calm stern voice and a tap on the rear (when the voice didn't work) always worked with my children. They are all grown and even the grand children are grown (last a Senior in High School) All have turned out to be very productive citizens and thankfully, the kids have applied the palm of the hand to the well padded area when needed. Consistancy is most important. As they grew older, privileges were revoked. None have been arrested, or even had a speeding ticket. Seems like a tap on the rear didn't hurt any of them. After 25 years away, one even moved back to the area and bought the house across the street. This too works as we both respect each others privacy. By the way have you ever watch a mother cat teach her kittens? Observe nature and you will see that a swat educates. After the kitten complies with what was required, the mama cat will wash them and nurse them. I've seen the mother cat take them to the middle of the road and wait for a car to come, the order to MOVE is given before the car is close and the kittens learn real quick to scoot out of the way. Nature is amazing if you learn to watch. Different disciplines work with different children but each must be with constancy and love. I never believed in physical discipline but have NEVER considered a swat on the butt or slap the hand of a 2 year old as physical punishment. I consider that getting their attention. My daughter is 33 and I spanked her once in her life and I told her before I did it why I was doing it and that I wanted her to remember it. She was so scarred by it that when I asked her about it she couldn't even remember it. I don't believe in slapping, spanking, hitting, or whatever other word you want to use, when done in anger or done to embarrass. My daughter never had her face slapped but did have her mouth washed out with soap once. I guess that's considered abuse. I watch my grandchildren and different punishments work with different children. One has a listening problem and a tap (not hit or slap but a tap)on the top of his head is needed to get his attention so he will listen to me. When he gets out of control and needs punishment, I've found that hugging and holding his arms to his side will give him time to gain control and then we can talk about what he's done. The other one I can use time out and have him sit in a chair. So see, the punishments have to be geared for each child. No one technique works for all children, even in the same family, so the parents or caregivers are better equiped to determine what will work for each child. If a spanking, done with love and not anger, is what works, then isn't the important thing that the child feels secure and loved than to have a few spankings over the course of a lifetime.
Please notice, I'm not talking about daily spankings. That's not acceptable nor is any spanking done in excess. One or two swats on a clothed bottom with an open hand should not be considered abuse or beating. But to spank a child on a bare bottom or too many times to count is child abuse and should be treated as such.
Just an observation-the people I know the the worst acting children (the ones who can't control themselves, are beligerent, mean, with the worst behavior) belong to the people who are the most against physical punishment. My thought is some people are against any sort of real parenting. It's easier to let the children do what they want than for the adult to be a parent. And because of it, children are out of control. And thats sad for the children. |
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May 13, 2008, 5:01 am PDT
Quote From: quilt3311 There is a huge difference between a spanking and abuse. When a child is small an open handed smack on the "well padded" backside gets their attention. I would NEVER allow a teacher to spank a child, they would have to contact ME and I would handle the situation. Also spanking should NOT be done while angry. A calm stern voice and a tap on the rear (when the voice didn't work) always worked with my children. They are all grown and even the grand children are grown (last a Senior in High School) All have turned out to be very productive citizens and thankfully, the kids have applied the palm of the hand to the well padded area when needed. Consistancy is most important. As they grew older, privileges were revoked. None have been arrested, or even had a speeding ticket. Seems like a tap on the rear didn't hurt any of them. After 25 years away, one even moved back to the area and bought the house across the street. This too works as we both respect each others privacy. By the way have you ever watch a mother cat teach her kittens? Observe nature and you will see that a swat educates. After the kitten complies with what was required, the mama cat will wash them and nurse them. I've seen the mother cat take them to the middle of the road and wait for a car to come, the order to MOVE is given before the car is close and the kittens learn real quick to scoot out of the way. Nature is amazing if you learn to watch. I also agree that teachers should not spank their students. I would tell my children's teachers that if they ever had a problem with my boys (3) of them to let me know and it wouldn't happen again. Have I spanked my boys....you bet I have....have I ever abused them...not in your life.
I also had an experience with my cat. My cat had a litter of kittens and we kept one. One day the mother cat had caught a mouse and brought it to her kitten. The kitten had absolutely no desire to even touch the mouse. I swear with the almighty heaven, that cat took one swat at her kitten and to my surprise he took that same mouse and started pushing it around. I was amazed at the lesson my cat was showing her kitten. They are now 14 yrs and 12 1/2 years old and she still is Mama. My boys have moved out, found their own niches and I still have the cats |
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