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July 3, 2008, 12:10 pm PDT
Self Image
Quote From: bstellanowI am a 51 year old African American woman. I have been happily married for 21 years and I have 2 sons - Brandon (murdered at age 17 would be 34 this year) and Kevin just turned 18 years old.
The most I have ever weighed in my life was when I was pregnant with my children: 147 pounds with Brandon and 149 with Kevin. You many wonder why I can remember my weight with two children 15 years apart. Well, this stands out so much for me because it is not such a great thing to be be thin. At least I don't think so. I weigh 112 pounds and I am 5'6" tall. The most I have weighed without being pregnant is 128 pounds. I get really sad when I see my friends and family disliking their size - I wish I could gain some weight. I know this is not going to be a popular message, but, I am so tired of being skinny I could just spit! There, I said it, I know in this society no one will get it but it is just as hard for me to gain weight as it is for a person who wants to lose weight. And after hearing, "you are so small..., you are so skinny...., are you eatin?...... a million different times - you will not think being thin is so in! Understood, my mom also suffers from being too thin. She herself would give anything to be a much larger woman. When my mom was pregnant with me she was told she looked like a string bean, meaning her pregnant belly only looked like a tiny bean pod. My mom also can tell you her exact weight when she had both me and my brother she was so happy with all the swelling and extra weight. My mom has been teased since she was young and she hates it. It does go to show that we some how are never truly satisfied, people look at her and wish they were her size and she looks at others and wishes the same. We all should be happy to be healthy. Don't stress yourself about your weight, enjoy life.
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