Replies to 'Career Goals'

newsoul

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May 16, 2008, 1:13 pm PDT

Be proud of yourself!

Quote From: thebookhunter

I feel the same exact way you do and have felt and been this way for a long time. I just turned the big 40 and if I dont figure out what the hell it is I want to do with my life I will be too old to work..LOL..I grew up always trying to prove something to my family, always trying to accomplish the unaccomplishable. I quit college for fine art because the math teacher called me stupid over and over again in front of the class, my father told me I was wasting my time, that you dont make any money at art. Everything I have ever done on a creative level I would pick things up so fast and when I did that I would get bored and move onto the next thing. For intstance; one yr I started creating these fairy tale creatures out of gourds, I sold them and was published on the front page of a local newspaper, i eventually stopped with the gourds because of allergies and the mold on the gourds was so awful..but even though I felt the newspaper article was a big accomplishment I have always wanted to accomplish something bigger, maybe to prove to my family that I am somebody they can be proud of.

I have been working on an art book and am afraid to submit my proposals to publishers for fear of failure. But at the same time I dont want to let fear stand in my way. I don want to fail. As I have failed over and over again. My family calls me flighty and they make fun of me for trying to accomplish what they perceive to be the unaccomplishable. So I have kept this book project I have been working on a secret so I dont have to hear the same words: YOU FAILED AGAIN!

Back to the work issue; If there is a crappy job out there I will find it. last month I worked at an oil change place, putting air in tires, changing rear light bulbs, talking to the customers, you also had to read off this huge list to each customer as to what the oil man did to the car. It was fast paced, working on 3 cars at once, no break for 7 1/2 hrs, nothing to eat for 7 1/2 hrs. It was horrible. I quit after one day even though the owner didnt want me too..No matter what job I do I always work my butt off and they never want me to leave but I never stay cause I hated the job! Everyone is always saying, everyone has to work, everyone hates their job and I think why should I have to work at a job I hate? I want to be happy at a job, not miserable. Maybe there is no such thing as being happy at a job?!

I understand your fear of failure. I will never be good enough in my mother's eyes - perfection has always been expected of me. It comes to a point that you can believe what others are saying about you or you can choose to look inward and not need outward validation. Congrats on your art book - WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT! You can't succeed without putting yourself out there for failure. We don't always win at the things we attempt, but we can learn from each experience until we do succeed.

If you are not proud of yourself, how can anyone else be? Surround yourself with those that encourage you and ignore those that put you down. You need to raise your expectations of a job and even if you have to temporarily work at a crappy job don't stop looking for the job you want. Don't settle - you will sell yourself short. If at this point a full-time job in art is unavailable or not enough money to support yourself, find another interest you have and work a job in it as you expand your art as a hobby or until an art job is available. Expand your job search. Research other fields you may find something new out there that you never thought of.

You can't change what others think and say. You have no control over them and you are handing over your control of how you feel about yourself to them. Rise above and take your control back. I don't have alot to do with my mom since she brings me down. I surround myself with friends that encourage me, a supportive husband, and my children. I have a good relationship with my dad and brother as well. I refuse to allow my mother to make me feel as a failure. I now take my energy to strive to succeed to my standards and I get to chose if I am happy and successful.

Yes there is such a thing as being happy in a job. I love my job, the people I work with, and my employer. Don't get me wrong it is far from perfect. Some days I question if I love my job but overall I do. I make the choice to pick my battles and take the good and leave the bad. If their is a problem I don't just bring the problem up, I also come with a suggested solution. What that does is prevent you from just complaining but trying to move on and improve the situation. In the last 5 years I have double my salary by not listening to others but striving to always improve myself. Stop looking for outside validation - It will never be enough. It has to come from inside. Easier said than done, I know, but something to start working on.

Trying to maintain a positive attitude and not allowing yourself to take a victim role makes a difference. (Not saying you do - I don't know.) If you don't like something change it. Get to know yourself and your likes and interests more to help find what you can do until your art career takes off. Small steps to your ultimate goal.

I encourage you to take your art book to a publisher. Even if the first time it is not published you will gain insight on how to improve and revise it to eventually get it published!

Keep you head up! Gain confidence in yourself and know that you are far from a waste of space. As I told a poster before: God has a plan for your life and if it was complete you wouldn't be here anymore. As Dr. Phil says "You teach people how to treat you." Treat yourself with respect, love yourself, and be confident and others will treat you as that. Hanging your head and believing you are failure will allow others to feed off that and continue to bring you down.