Quote From: vscole'Sounds to me like too much emphasis on the "event" rather than the marriage. My husband and I were married 38 years ago and it rained all day. Get real! The bad weather had no bearing on the success or failure of our marriage. Young people today seem so spoiled and used to having Mommy or Daddy make everything "perfect" throughout their lives, that they have often not had to face a disappointment or a challenge.
PS: The idea of young people having "trial marriages" etc. is disturbing to me. If both parties don't go into a marriage with commitment and the determination to work through problems and issues, it's doomed from the beginning.
My daughter and son-in-law were married almost 4 years ago. Their wedding included flowers 2 hours late, the cake 1 1/2 hours late and the wrong one, the wedding was in Portland on the hottest day of the year with no air conditioning, the grooms mother came drunk and pulled her beautiful dress out of the same bag it was put into a month before the wedding when we all went shopping together, the flower girls mother allowed the flower girl to "romp" under the trees (pine trees) and ripped the bottom of her dress (netting), then the flower girls mother gave the flower girl taco bell before the wedding which she accidently spilled the orange meaty sauce all down the front of her, the groomsmen took the ring bearer to ice cream before the wedding in his white tux, right after the wedding was over the photographer took a few pictures and then announced he was leaving - not staying for the reception, the person in charge of the food put her back out during the reception, the top of the cake (which was not ours in the first place) fell off the top of the cake, and the lady who did our flowers suggested putting the cake on a bar-height table so that everyone could see it and I didn't think and asked my sister-in-laws, who are all under 5 feet tall, to cut the cake. And if that doesn't get you, after the reception we were required to be out of the reception hall within two hours from the end of the reception and my mother-in-law insisted that we all stop cleaning up and go to mass! I had to provide dinner for everyone who was from out of town and ended up sick and had to be sent to bed from the heat. (Thank God for Kentucky Fried Chicken!) And I won't even BEGIN to talk about the fangs that my daughter grew two weeks before the big day! Three days later I lay in the hospital with my blood pressure at 200 over 135. Why? Because I tried hard to keep things from "getting" to my daughter. I wanted them to start off on the right foot. Would it have been OK for them to know what was going on during that day? Of course. It was my choice to do it the way I did.
Even though all of this happened, my daughter and her husband don't remember any of it. I did tell them about everything a week after the wedding (OK, when I was in the hospital) and they got very mad at me for not allowing them to know before then. All they remember now, is how beautiful the day was, that the ring bearer took his job of guarding the rings VERY seriously, and the the guy who caught the garter and the girl who caught the bouquet used to date a long time ago and hated each other. Even when we look at the pictures, they talk only about the positive things.
Yes, things happen at weddings that can cause serious "baggage." But that does not mean anything more than what it is. Things are supposed to go wrong at a wedding. Serious things like fatalities, illnesses, accidents can leave strong feelings. But those strong feelings can be dealt with by the couple (working on it together), counseling, therapy, and time. It does not mean the marriage is going to go bad. If the marriage is affected by the "Nuptual Nightmares" then it is probably possible that things between the bride and groom were not strong enough fo rmarriage to begin with, or that the couple did not have much in the way of family or friends support.
