Replies to 'Balancing Marriage and Family'

I need help quick! I am a 33 year old woman, married with no children but I have two step-children.  My husband and I have been married for nine this June. My husband and I had what I thought was a good marriage until about 3 years ago.  More recently, we have had problems we can't seem to get past.  Years ago, when we he and I were dating, I thought that I got along well enough with his family.  I was never especially close to any of them but I thought that we could be common cordiall to each other.  Somewhere along the way, his mother began to say and do strange things to me for no obvious reasons.  I would enter a room and she would give me very strange angry looks or answer my questions hostily or maybe not answer at all.  I would call her and she'd hang up in my face for no reason.  I tried handling it on my on but i had no luck.  After quite a while, I shared my problems with my husband. I didn't get him involved initialy because I hoped to handle it without him.  When I told him, he blew it off.  "Yeah mama can be a lil crazy some times" he would say.  He didn't make a big deal about it so I let it go the first few times I brought something to him.  But of course, things got worse over the years. It got to the point that she seemed to wait untill my husband leaves the room to show her disdain for me. Again, I have no idea what I have done to cause any of this. This time, I was more demanding with my husband. I told him i needed his help with this problem because I tried talking to her about it, I tried ignoring it, I tried joking it away. He then said, "Well you probably misunderstood."  I don't think you could misunderstand anyone repeatedly hanging up in your face. I know how fragile this situation must be for him but I don't know how to handle it.  Plus, my husband's sister and father have witnessed this behavior and have said or done nothing to stop it.  I am not surprised that family would support family but I'm dissapointed that right and wrong has never been considered in this situation.  I asked my husband if I ha talk to or treated his family the way that they had me, would he be as protective of me.  He said NO! Very quickly and clearly, he said no.  This broke me down. Since that day, I have not been interested in sex with him or intimacy or anything that couples should be.  Just this has left me believing that everything I once thought about our relationship was wrong.  I no longer trust this man with my things that are important to me.  I haven't shared things with him that he would want to know because I've started to feel that he is not really my husband anymore.  I look at him and can no longer see the man I was crazy about years ago.  I have emotionally given up on trying to find my way back to trusting him. I didn't choose this current feeling, it's just what I feel. 

The way I have dealt with the problem lately is I just don't go to my in laws houses.  I am not trying to be rude to them, I just don't know how else to keep down the drama.  In fact I am a very non-drama type of person so this is that much harder for me.  It is hard to include all the important facts here so let me try to sum it up.  I love my husband, I have a small immediate family so I welcomed my husbands family, they didn't feel the same way about me.  My husband more or less blames me for the lack of relationship between his family and I.  My husband doesn't help with the situation, he just stays out of it and tells me that I shouldn't be so over sensitive.  Biggest problem, I don't feel over sensitive.  I feel right.  I don't need to be right, I feel that I am right.  I think that if my in laws don't want or don't know how to respect me, we should grately limit our contact.  I don't have any answer for wut I should do as far as feeling unappreciated by my husband.  I need someone to help me sort some of these problems out.  Thanks