Replies to '05/20 The Dr. Phil House: Brat Camp'

It is my business and everyone else's business when children are mistreated, because they don't have advocates, they are tragically powerless.  Not to mention, this mother decided to air her dirty laundry on television.  So, she invited critique.  I'm not saying that I have no sympathy for her.  I do, and she's clearly been through a lot, I just think her behavior is unacceptable, end of story.  We're talking about behavior here.

By the way, someone mentioned the "greatest generation" and spanking...what does that have to do with anything?  I never mentioned spanking or having any position on spanking.  Personally I'm not comfortable with it, but I know people I respect who did spank their children and their kids are fine.  The point is, they treated their children with love, and Wendy treats Noah with hate.  Can you really not see the difference?  And how do we know that Jeffrey Dahlmer was raised in a happy home?  I've seen his father on TV claiming that it was a normal family, but we have no idea what the dynamics were here.  You also said you doubted I worked with children-well, many members of my family and closest friends have been in social work working in Head Start and as probation officers etc. and they have first hand seen the direct consequences of environment on kids.  So have I.  I do actually think that environment is paramount in determining children's behavior.  I do believe there are other factors that may influence behavior as well, but environment is first and foremost.  No, it's not entirely one way or the other: abusive parents have wonderful children, and sometimes wonderful parents have children that fall in with the wrong crowd at school, etc., but OVERWHELMINGLY children who have poor self-esteem, cannot maintain long term relationships, and become abusers themselves were abused and lacked even a single parent advocate to help them.  If I hadn't had my mother, I'd be a mess right now because of my father's abuse.  And, for awhile at Noah's age, I was.  Only with serious (expensive, that most people can't afford) counseling did I turn out high functioning, a professor with a happy stable family, etc.  If my mom hadn't been out there advocating for me, I would have kept on failing every subject (like I was in middle school) and doing self-destructive things.

I don't want to get too into personal faith here, but suffice it to say I do not believe God allows "evil" children to be born.  We have free will.  When we "welcome" children into a world where we don't give them unconditional love, they turn out messed up, end of story.  Wendy was NOT giving her son unconditional love-look at her face and demeanor toward her son.  I've been around on this earth long enough to know that.  That's my argument here, and I cannot possibly believe any
rational or feeling person can deny that.