Replies to 'Having a Baby Has Changed My Life'

Quote From: jettav

I think the key here is Respect on both of your parts. You need to communicate your feelings to him and be honest, if you don't then how is he suppose to l=know what you are feeling. I think too it is imporant that you have your "me" time and one thing that works with us in my home is, I have a set time that I go out all by myself and do wahtever I want which is Saturday mornings, now on accasions other things do come up as that is how life is sometimes, there may be times when I take one of our girls with me and the other stays with daddy, sometimes we all end up goingt o gether depending on what needs to be done, My husband is now on a rotating work schedule and we have to go by his schedule but when I knw that he is home and will be for a bit, I do not hesitate to tell him that I am going out for a bit and I will be back in a couple hours, he is a great father and he doesn't have a problem with this. If you have a plan already in place then both of you will be happy, if all fails maybe you can get a sitter for an hour or two and go out with a friend. Really, I have come to realize that men don't always grasp the whole affect of parenting because we, the wives/mothers don't communicate our needs and desires, we just assume that the men should know thier place and responsibility and maybe they should but becasue we, the women are usually the main caregivers, the men in our lives may think that we have everything under control so this is why we must communicate and work together at a plan that will work and satisfy both parents. It is nothing for me to tell my husband, I am going out with Cate on Friday night, you need to be home and watch the girl or if he is working, I just tell him the girls and I will be going out tonight, you need to help your self to dinner. I think if you have a good marriage relationship, this would not be a problem but it still takes communication, repsect and the willingness to work together. I decided along time ago, even befor ehaving children, that I wasn't gonna sit around the house and mope and wait for hubby to do his part and I don't, I go when I want and if that means taking my children with me, then I do it, if it means paying a sitter, I do it, if it means telling him that he needs to stay home with them, then I do it. Now, of course I have respect for him and make sure that he is feeling up to doing it and that he has the time to spend with the girls, he does work and he too deserves his alone time and out with friends and all, it is a matter of having a balance and working together.