Replies to '03/16 Cheerleader Scandal'

I have great smypathy for both families.  I have been there 13 plus years.  My daughter was murdered at the age of 27 1/2 after 10 years of marriage to an abusive husband.  The loss of a child is nevery easy regardless of how they die. 

My victims service worker gave great words of courage, wisdom and emotional support early into the process.  I would like to share with both families.  It worked for me. 

"Try to find some way to turn this bad situation into something positive.  Otherwise your grief will cause your health to fail and you will die too.  He will have murdered you in his own way and that is a crime he will never have to go to trial or serve time for.  He will have gotten away with your murder.  Try to find some way to help other victims." 

When the times got tough, and they did a lot,  I remembered her words and would refocus.  After the trial and sentencing I volunteered at the local domestic center and later added other victim services to my agenda.  My healing came with caring and sharing with other D.V. victims as well as publice awarness to the seriousness of D.V.   I was a member of Parents of Murdered childrens organization in my home town.   

I have since moved on with my life.  Never a day goes by without thinking about my daughter.  They are happy thoughts.  I learned it is ok to be happy and to get on with my life.  I cannot change what happened to her but I can take control of what happens to me. 

I have since known personally  a young woman who shot and killed her abusive boyfriend.  She was unable to live with what she had done and in less than a year took her own life.  No one is a winner in this type of situation. 

Trust in your higher power and find you healing