Replies to '05/30 "Butt Out!"'

You know, asking what the child wants is just not always an option...nor should it be!

My children were not happy when I divorced their alcoholic father...(they were a boy, 13, a girl 8 and a girl 4.) I did not bash their father to them so they really had no idea what all was going on, nor did they understand that my leaving him was for THEIR benefit. If I had asked them what they wanted, of course they would have chosen to stay BECAUSE they knew no better, and then when they grew up in this destructive atmosphere and would have been messed up adults, they would have been angry with me for that!

I told them this: "I am the adult and I will make the adult decisions based on what is good for ALL of us! I know what I'm doing, and some day you will understand."  And guess what? They thank me for it today.

You cannot and should not put adult decisions on the backs of children....it's just too big a burden, and parents don't have the right to do that.

A parent needs to have the strength, courage and maturity to make those tough decisions, knowing it's the best thing to do for the good of all......you have to see the big picture.