Replies to 'Betrayal'

Hello.. I know exactly how you feel... but my betrayal cut deeper.. I was betrayed by my best friend of 10 years with my husband for over a year. They had an affair where it began as a "booty call" and ended with her trying to get him to divorce me and marry him. (She was already engaged). Now I have a very hard time meeting new people and trusting anyone of them around my husband. I don't want to be the one to introduce him to his next fling. I am building up my trust, but that is an area that I believe will take many more years so that I feel comfortable. The thing is, I introduced them and since she was also a cop (like my husband) and wanted to "learn" more about the street, I trusted both of them enough to do "ride a longs" and that's when the trouble started. Am I ever going to feel secure enough to have a friend and not wonder if she's letting my husband know that she's "available"? I didnt think that my ex best friend would do this, and to be honest, I felt she was too ugly for him.. which is mean, but when we met, he was very picky about the people he went out with.. and their looks. I know that my husband would never stray again because he knows it would be the end..and we have worked so hard to build it back up... and frankly, now he acts completely different.. he's totally into me where before, I knew he loved me, but he never really showed it.  I just do not want to be around a female that would "offer" it up to him like my ex best friend did.. knowing my husband, that's the only way he went for it -- was because she made the first move.. He may have done it before with a  stranger, but not with someone I was best friends with, that could tell me.. does that make sense?  How do you find someone and gain that trust to where you dont always wonder..?? I also trusted her because her first husband cheated on her with his secretary. It made me think that she wouldn't do that to someone if she'd been through it before.  Anyway, an old friend just moved back to the area and I really want to rebuild a friendship with her. We went to college together 20 years ago. I want to be friends, but will I always wonder ???