Replies to 'Co-Parenting'

Children feel the need to bare the burdens of their parents. He may say he wants to live with his father because he believes that is what he wants to hear. If he truly wants to move with you he will have to be upfront and honest with his mother. You and your husband will also have to be very clear about your expectations and rules. He needs to know that the grass is not always greener and while it may be tough to live with his mother it will not be all fun and games with you. Also consider the long term effects this will have on his relationship with his mother. Regardless of her lifestyle she is a very important person in this child's life and doing anything to enable damage to that relationship could then cause him to have animosity toward you and/or his father. If nothing else this is a good time to teach him a valuable lesson about being responsible for your actions and emotions. At this age the boy needs to learn to speak for himself. If he is not mature enough to tell his mother how he feels and deal with this as a young man then he may not be mature enough to make this decision on his own. I suggest family counselling with not only your side but his mother as well. After divorce we tend to forget about the other parent and though we try to do what is best for the child we seldom work together to do so.