Replies to 'How Porn Has Hurt Our Relationship'

hi ddforlife

I am on the run but your post touched me, and I wanted to say a few things.

Each of us will give up when our circumstances dictate. Many of us don't want divorce but sometimes that is the only answer when all is said and done - when everything has been tried, chances given over and over etc. I think a general guideline is when it hurts more to stay than leave - this is just an indication.

I am married to a porn addict and have spent a lot of time learning about it - it takes some of the sting out and helps to understand what is going on. There is no trust for a long time - they broke the trust and it has to be earned back - and not by empty promises and words but by action.  there is help available for porn addicts and if he is serious about quitting he should get help. Tell him he has to take action, not give you promises. There are sex therapists out there who deal specifically with this kind of thing. there are many other resources too, and if he is serious he will find them.

For you, keep going to therapy and dealing with your issues and I hope you discuss the hurt and emotions that his porn use has brought into your relationship. I would not trust his words, but would want to see him looking for a plan of action for recovery. It has been 20 years and his word has not been good up to now. Serious action is required on his part, in my opinion.

take care   jljs