Quote From: ritehereThe explanations and assurances of love have to come from her father. Having you tell her and assrurances from a counselor won't make any dent in her insecurities at all. Her father is the only one that can lay her fears to rest.
In her mind, she is afraid that he will "divorce" her just as he divorced you. She may even secretly think that the divorce is somehow all her fault, children are notorious for blaming it all on themselves.
Have your ex at the session too, this way the counselor can guide your daughter to ask the things she is too young to articulate to the adults that she depends on.
Hi
I am divorced from my ex now and raising 2 girls on my own. Oldest 9yrs old and youngest 5yrs old. Their dad has been seeing someone for nearly a year now and wants to introduce this person, to the girls. The oldest is getting nervous about this and was not happy at first, to meet his girlfriend. Now after counselling with both myself and her dad, she is feeling a bit better in meeting the new person, in her dad's life. I also, am at peace that this relationship my ex has, is a permanent one and agree that it is time to introduce girls to his girlfriend.
My only question I have is what things should I know, as to the limits of what my ex girlfriend can do, with punishment or yelling??? My ex is not living with his girlfriend at the moment, so I have advised my ex that when girls are over, due to them only being introduced to his girlfriend for the first time, the girlfriend is not allowed to sleep over. Is this an unreasonable request. He believes it is, but I belive when kids are involved, it has to be a gradual thing with them spending time with their dad and his girlfriend. Do you think I am being unreasonable??? Could you also please help or give me some advice, on boundaries I need to set, with this new situation of the kids meeting their dad's new girlfriend. I have heard many stories of girlfriends of ex's not treating their ex's children appropriately, so could you also give me some advice on things I also should be on guard for??? Your response would be greatly appreciated.
