Quote From: roaringredheadI'm right there with you.
Yes, I did explain to my baby that it wasn't her fault. I aim to give my daughter a healthy self image and a knowledge that her body is beautiful. I also have pointed out private parts already, and explained why they are private. She's only 4, but she will tell another child to not touch her butt. She says, "Please, do not touch my butt." I can't help but laugh inside.
But, that situation at the fast food play area...well, it was so different. Every little warning sensor went off inside me. I try to follow my gut in those situations. Whether I'm wrong or right doesn't matter. The safety of my little girl is the most important thing. Both times I tried to not make too much of a scene. For my daughter, I did my best to make it a smooth transition from play time to clean-up time. When I told the boy in question, "Don't touch my daughter," I'm sure only the boy, my daughter, the grandmother and myself could hear. I really wasn't going for the public embarrasment thing. I was just trying to get the other adult to acknowledge my feelings on what was actually happening, and it certainly wasn't child's play. When the boy wouldn't let up, I made a point to whisper to him. My daughter couldn't hear us.
Do I think my daughter knew the boy was being inappropriate? Yep! She sure didn't want to go in those tunnels with him. In fact, she asked for my help to get the boy off her arm. I'm sure her internal sensors were going off too. For a second I saw fear in her eyes when he wouldn't let go of her. That's when I stood from my chair and took charge. I knew that she knew, and she didn't know how to deal with the situation.
Dr. Phil has made a point to discuss the possibility of children molesting younger children. We all know that children experiment. As you wrote, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." But, when there is a noticable age difference, then I think we should question what is experimentation and what is simply inappropriate.
When it comes to kids you have to follow your instincts, and theirs. I can see that you pay attention, which is what makes good parenting. You didn't mention how much of an age difference, so I wasn't going to go into scary details. I was molested by an older boy when I was a youngster. It was very nearly rape, but I got away with only taking a beating. (An adult happened by at a very good time.) I also received unwanted, and unsolicited I might add, attention from adult males from the time I was 11.
Impress upon your daughter that it's OK to go to adults she feels safe with if this happens at school or anywhere else too. She is the boss of who gets close to her and who doesn't.
