Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'

Honestly, I don't know how much older the other child was.  My daughter is 4 years-old.  He was atleast 2 heads taller.  I'm thinking 7 years-old; maybe 8 years-old?  In an incident prior to the one discussed, also at an outdoor play area, the boy was much older.  He was at least 12-years-old.  Having such a big age gap is usually a red light for me. 

My daughter is considered very pretty.  Administrators and teachers at her preschool tell her dad that he's going to be in a lot of trouble when she gets in high school.  One administrator even said that our daughter was the prettiest girl she had ever seen.  I completely thought she was blowing smoke up the you know what, but then she grabbed me arm and said, "Seriously, I mean that."  At first, these compliments really went to our heads, but then we came to reality.  I don't want our daughter focused on the superficial aspect of herself and life.  I also don't want her receiving unwanted attention because of her outward appearance. 

Our daughter is not like the other kids.  Our daughter has a sensory seeking disorder and autistic like behavior when it comes to interactive speech.  Yes, this is an official diagnosis from the experts and current school system.  She receives private and public speech therapy and OT services. Actually, there's been amazing improvements over the past 2 years.  Early intervention is so important! Our daughter is currently on an IEP for her preschool.  Our daughter has made so many improvements that Children's Hospital decided to discontinue private therapy after August 2008.  The school system doesn't think she will require an aid to assist her in kindergarten.   There still is a difference in her speech and social skills compared to other children her age.  I guess this is why I'm so protective of her. Several months ago she couldn't tell me if another child hurt her.  Also, she tends to play with boys rather than girls whenever she's in a group.  She really likes older girls, but tends to ignore girls her own age, or girls that are close to her own age.  I think this is because boys her age usually are limited in interactive language skills, and more action oriented.  She has already had a preschool boy ask to marry her. Kids are soooo funny.  : -)

When I was a little older than my daughter, I was also touched inappropriately by a male family member. He was 4 years older than I was at the time.  Since this family member was at our house almost every summer; unfortunately, it was a long term ordeal.  And, with the passing of every year the touching became less innocent.  When he was 13 years-old, my parents would use him as a babysitter.  At first, I didn't know what was happening was wrong.  It was when I developed friendships at school and experienced sleep overs...well, then I knew what he was doing was wrong.  I don't know why I didn't tell anyone.  I threatened to tell, which made him stop touching me, but he could never take back what happened.   We lost touch over the years.  I tried to write to him, so we could have a serious talk about what happened.  He simply ignored my letters and wouldn't take my calls.  I don't know if he still is touching children. I know that his background is sqeaky clean, and that his job required a background check and lie detector test.  He was very much a child himself when it started, but when it ended I don't think he was mentally a child anymore.  I mean, he was a teenager!  He was dating girls at school.  He knew it was wrong at some point!  The weird thing is that he made me believe he loved me and wanted to protect me.  It was complicated, and it was wrong of him to do what he did.