Replies to 'Overcoming Grief'

I lost both my parents and my Grandpa all in a 2 years time frame. Depression set in and I had to hit rock bottom before I could even think of coping. Yep I said coping that is about all you can do at that point until you learn to live with out them. I miss my mom and dad oh so much and your right when you deal with another loss it feels like you are back at square one but your not. Have faith that you have come a few steps through the years. My pastor died a month ago and I though great here we go back to square one and I had a very close friend tell me no you can never go back there you have been there and know what it looks like. She was right it hurt I was angry and I sure missed my mom and dad but this friend was right I was not willing to visit square one again so I didn't. Always tell your self they are there. The hardest part for me was both my parents died of cancer my mom at age 44 and my dad at age 50 so I am still raising my family but as I said before I miss them like crazy EVERYDAY but I amnot willing to go back down becuase my kids need me. Hang in there! I can say from going through it set your mind to living life as though they are watching and it makes you think about what they would say as if they are still here.

 

DEAR OVERCOMING GRIEF,

HI, I TOO AM SUFFERING GRIEF FROM THE LOSS OF MY FIANCE' OF ALMOST 10 YRS.  HE WAS 54 YRS. OLD AND WOULD OF BEEN 55 JUST 25 DAYS LATER AND WE WOULD OF CELEBRATED OUR 10 YR. ENGAGEMENT OF BEING ENGAGED.  THE DAY OF HIS ACCIDENT WE HAD A BIG ARGUMENT OVER THE PHONE BECAUSE I SAID NO TO HIS PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE.  THE REASON WHY I SAID NO WAS BECAUSE HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC AND I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.  I  TOLD HIM THAT BEFORE WE GER MARRIED I WANTED HIM TO GO GET HELP FOR HIS DRINKING AND HE GOT MAD AND HUNG UP THE PHONE AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HIM, WHICH WAS FEB.27th,07.  I HAD GOTTEN A PHONE CALL IN THE EARLY HRS. OF FEB. 28th. SAYING THAT JIM WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AND WAS BEING FLOWN FROM ONE HOSPITAL TO ANOTHER BY FLIGHT 4 LIFE.   AND THAT THEY (son and daughter-in-law) WOULD BE PICKING ME UP SO THAT THE 3 OF US COULD GO TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE JIM WAS AT.  IN THE MEAN TIME, I CALLED JIM'S SISTER AND BROTHER TO HAVE THEM MEET US AT THE HOSPITAL ALSO.  WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE SURGERY THAT HE WAS SUPPOSE TO HAVE WHEN THE DR. CAME IN AND TOLD US THAT IF HE REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS HE WOULD BE IN A VEGETATIVE STATE UNTIL THE DAY HE DIED, AND IF HE WOULD OF WOKE UP FROM BEING UNCONSCIOUS HE STILL WOULD OF BEEN IN A VEGETATIVE STATE.  SO WE (the brother, sister-in-law, sister, niece, son, daughter-in-law, and I) DECIUDED THAT IT WOULD BE BEST TO NOT LET HIM SUFFER, AND TO HAVE HIM TAKEN OFF THE RESPIRATOR. 

IN THE MEAN TIME I HAD A DR'S APPOINTMENT AT A DIFFERENT HOSPITAL AND AFTER I WAS DONE THERE I WENT HOME.  TO THIS DAY I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL AND STAY THERE WITH HIS FAMILY AND MINE, SO I SAID MY GOOD BYE AND LEFT TO GO TO MY APPOINTMENT AND THEN HOME.  THE NEXT MORNING MY SON CALLED TO TELL ME THAT JIM HAD PASSED AWAY AT 11:01a.m. WHICH WAS MARCH. 1st,07.    TO THIS DAY I STILL REGRET NOT STAYING WITH HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT WAS THERE AT THE HOSPITAL, BUT I GUESS I WAS AFRAID TO SEE HIM DIE.  DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVED HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALL MY SOUL AND THEN SOME PLUS A WHOLE LOT MORE!!  BUT I JUST COULDN'T STAND HIS DRINKING ANYMORE.  SEE WHEN I WAS 15 I TOLD MY PARENTS THAT I WAS GOING TO MARRY THIS GUY, BUT WHEN, I DIDN'T KNOW!!  AND ON MARCH 29th, 1997 WE HAD OUR FIRST DATE, WHICH WAS CALLED "THE DATE THAT NEVER ENDED"!!  WHICH BY THE WAY IT NEVER DID END BECAUSE ON MARCH 29th,1997 HE MOVED IN WITH MY 2 SONS AND I!!

 

NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT HAS ONLY BEEN 1 YR. 5 MONTHS AND 10 DAYS SINCE HIS PASSING AND I AM VERY LONELY, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M COMING OR GOING.  I AM TIRED OF FEELING ALONE AND I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD START DATING AGAIN OR NOT.

 

THANK YOU

 

OWENGM2