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Replies to 'Overcoming Grief'
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October 26, 2005, 9:34 am PDT
 Quote From: louisman halliee, I didn't see your posting, but don't need to see it to know you are hurting. I hurt also. I will hurt with you and be sad with you. Just remember that we all have choices for the way we feel. Not just greiving but through every decision in life everyday. I think the holidays are gong to be tough, too. But my choice is to enjoy my children and grandchildren more than I ever have before. My husband loved Christmas, therefore I am intended on keeping that going on year to year. I think the hardest part for me is when I go shopping the day after thanksgiving, that was our day. But, it might not be so bad, either. I think when the day comes, it will be my choice as to how I make it. Just hang in there, and I will hang in there with you. What was your brother's name and how old was he? (If you don't mind me asking.) louisman I am sorry .....if you didn't see my other message you wouldn't understand, so let me fill you in a little......It was my brothers wife that passed and my Uncle and before him it was my father.....my mother has nothing to do with me anymore, still don't know why but anyhow, after my sister-in-laws passing she left behind 3 children ages (at the time) 4 10, 13 and here is the sadest of all of this.....The kids were at home with her and had gotten up before her and went downstairs to watch TV, and then all three went back up stairs after while because their mom didn't come down....and they found her dead in the bed, they were all alone......their dad was out of town for work...(my brother)..they did all they knew to do including calling 911, but she had been gone for hours.......the oldest blames himself for not going up sooner to check....I reassure him that there was nothing that he could of done......I helped my brother with everything taking time off or my job to help with the kids and we were very close(my brother and I)...I helped with money all i could we hung out practically every day with our kids and such it was good for the children......my two kids are Girls.....at the time were ages 16 and 14....needless to say my brother began seeing this new girl and things started happening that just wern't right....this girlfriend was talking to my oldest daughter alot about her relationship with my brother...and I got upset because IN MY EYES.....ADULT ISSUES SHOULD NOT BE DISCUSSED WITH CHILDREN.....especially when it was my daughter, not hers.and then I come to find out this passed summer that she was also( the girlfriend)....was GIVING AND SMOKING POT WITH MY DAUGHTER....I couldn't prove this or I would have pressed charges.......and to make a long story short....my brother sided with the girlfriend, and broke my heart because he didn't believe me....so now we havn't talked in over 4 months and i don't get to see the children either.....so i am now grieving the relationship loss so to speak of not having my brother in my life now either...and i am not sure if i did the right thing.......please tell me what you think........i hope you will hang in there with me i feel like i have no one to talk to.......my E-mail adresss is JMi4258219@aol.com, i am having a hard time navigating this board and it takes me forever to find my messages.....i am to say the least computer challenged ! Just add a note to the subject part of the e-mail so i know not to delete it.......like overcoming grief or something...I look forward to your advice on what I should do... |
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October 26, 2005, 9:44 am PDT
Quote From: louisman halliee, I didn't see your posting, but don't need to see it to know you are hurting. I hurt also. I will hurt with you and be sad with you. Just remember that we all have choices for the way we feel. Not just greiving but through every decision in life everyday. I think the holidays are gong to be tough, too. But my choice is to enjoy my children and grandchildren more than I ever have before. My husband loved Christmas, therefore I am intended on keeping that going on year to year. I think the hardest part for me is when I go shopping the day after thanksgiving, that was our day. But, it might not be so bad, either. I think when the day comes, it will be my choice as to how I make it. Just hang in there, and I will hang in there with you. What was your brother's name and how old was he? (If you don't mind me asking.) louisman p.s. louisman, I am also very sorry for your loss, you said you too have children and grandchildren, how old, i know how I treasure my family and it sounds like you do also......there is nothing like watching them grow is there......in my eyes they grow up way too fast......i can't wait for grandchildren but not yet....my oldest just turned 18 and i my youngest is now 16 and learning to drive...... it is so hard to let go you know? but like you I live for them and will continue to do so. but also like you the holidays are no longer happy for me....except what I share with my husband and girls...hope to hear back from you soon , so until then take care of your self ok? |
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