First off, I completely understand that the hubby isn't always there or just doesn't notice everything that is going on. That can be so frustrating.
Secondly, if he didn't take her to Disneyland, which is a big deal to a lot of people, that would not only be a slap in HER face but could hurt her severly.
You are the adult, not the child. True, she needs to be taught to respect you and to mind what you say, but by not including her into something so big just because you are fighting is childish. (Not trying to put you down, but being point blank like Dr. Phil, which is why I love watching his show.) And I know that it would hurt things in your relationship instead of mending them. Before you go I would recommend you sitting her down and talking to her. Explain whatever it is that you are fighting over, and why you are upset over it. Talk to her like a humanbeing and come to terms with it. Punish her in another way, but not by leaving her out.
It is not disrespectful on his part by bringing her along, it would be disrespectful on your part by leaving her behind just because you are fighting.
And he needs to spend as much time with her as possible, REGARDLESS of whether you are fighting or not. The world does not evolve on just your feelings, I know sometimes it feels like people are out to get you. But I promise they are not. You have to realize that they are just children, regardless of age, up until they are 25 their brains are still not completely functioning like they should. You are always going to disagree.
How would you have felt if your parents were going to go somewhere and just left you because you had a disagreement? Or how would you feel if it were your husband to leave you behind because you and his daughter were disagreeing? See what I am trying to say?
