Replies to 'School Issues'

Lordy, I have read the threads similar to this one and the ones resulting from this particular thread.  It almost sounds like I wrote this one!   

My oldest son had a similar experience with his 4th grade teacher here in WI.  I didn't find out until 3 weeks after he'd quit doing all of his work!  Turned out, he'd quit doing it during the first week of school.  He did bring home a little work so I didn't know.  Into about the second week, all of a sudden he didn't want to goto school at all.  I thought it was just a pre-teen phase.  When he started bursting into tears while doing his homework, I knew something had to be wrong. 

Before the 4th grade, he'd always enjoyed going to school.  No problem with bring home and doing any homework and if he needed help, he'd ask for it but I would never baby sit him through it.  There was a slight homework problem in the 3rd grade (it was his first year in a new school as we'd moved from TX to WI).  I had a chat with the 3rd grade teacher at school in their classroom.  At that point I realized there were over half the student's names on the blackboard with my son's name among them.  I queried about the list and the teacher remarked they were having the same problem my son was!  Here, during this whole conversation, she was acting like my son was the only one who had the problem.  I mentioned that if over half the class had the same problem then it wasn't just my son, she NEEDED to change something.  A week later I noticed a change with a 'homework' sheet she went over with the class at the end of the school day and end of problem for the majority of class including my son. 

Now, into the 4th grade, the teacher for whatever reason decided my son was 'special ed' and treated him as such.  After much conversing with my son over what was wrong and why he was not liking school anymore and why he was crying over homework, I discovered this teacher was picking on him.  When I met with this teacher, she didn't want him in her class, seemed to have gone out of her way to make him feel stupid.  One of the main reasons was my son was big for his age therefore must be more mature and smarter!  ACK!!!!  She also didn't like it when students repeatedly asked questions or requested extra help and she ABSOLUTELY refused to spend a few minutes at the day's end to help teach my son some badly needed organizational skills.  It irked this teacher to no end that I showed up for 6 weeks straight after school and stayed in her classroom until my son had his stuff together.  When he was unsure if a paper was a homework assignment (by now his confindence levels were below basement level) I told him to ask her.  her response was if he didn't know to throw it away.  I watched this 3 seperate occassions and put a stop to it.  I repeatedly asked this teacher to move him to the front of the room to remove any distractions from students sitting in front of him so he could concentrate easier plus remove the humiliation she was giving him by walking to the back of the classroom to tap on his desk 'to keep him on task' as she would put it and have everyone turn to look at him because she was tapping on his desk. 

BTW, the organizational skills, I was teaching him but since she was not reinforcing them in her classroom, he wasn't following through with it. 

I am from TX and we are a friendly buch.  I have also taugh my children these habits too.  This teacher had the gall enough to imply because my son was so friendly and polite that this was proof of his 'special ed' title she'd bestowed upon him.  I stood up to this teacher and wouldn't be cowtowed or run over by her and got in her face when she got into mine.  I wouldn't take her placating answers when I could see the dirt all over it.  We payed for tutors for the entire summer that year to make up for the year he lost because this teacher wouldn't teach my son.  She even offered to have me in her class and I flat out told her, "You mean to tell me, you want to act like the good teacher in front of me?  I would have to put in a hidden camera to see the real you."   

The following year, I had heard rumors that she was claiming to have made my son a better student and it was confirmed in a meeting I attended over similar issues with children in that year's class.  I went to just observe and just take notes.  Apparently, she mistakely thought I was there in her support and addressed me directly by asking me in front of all those parents and the principle "Didn't I make your son a better student?"  It was hard to hold my composure but I laid it out and asked her, " what does a teacher to do her student in the first week of school that causes them not to do their work period and THEN not report it to the parents until 3 weeks later?!!!!!!!"  You better believe I got dirty looks from her for the rest of the meeting.  I also let them know that we hired a tutor for the rest of the summer to make up for what he lost. 

To make matters worse, the 5th grade teacher wouldn't believe that the 4th grade teacher could have created the problems he was seeing in my son.  I worked and worked with this teacher to get him to teach my son and even started showing up everyday after school in his classroom.  The 3rd week he exploded at me.  I shot back that if he was doing his job, I wouldn't be there.  I didn't have time to be there but because I was concerned for my son, I was willing to be there (I also have 3 other kids who needed to be taken care of and fed!).  It wouldn't hurt him to spend 2 or 3 minutes at the end of the day to show my son how to organize or remind him that the assignments were written on the board.  The teacher insisted for a few weeks it was useless because my son was 'special ed" (btw, how would 5 teachers in 5 years miss a kid having trouble?  pre-k3 thru 3rd and he was doing well and average grades).  Finally the teacher relented and spent the few minutes each day.  with in a short 6 weeks, my son had improved from failing to average grades to slightly above average.  The teacher was a bit stunned and had even accused me of doing my son's homework for him (again I reminded the teacher, I cooked meals from scratch and had a husband and 3 other kids to look after, didn't have time to 'do' my son's homework for him.  even had the teacher imply I was too stupid to understand 5th grade material!  Hey, just because I speak with a southern accent doesn't mean I have a low IQ!)   

6th grade I relented somewhat to have my son tested for learning disabilities.  Guess what?!  He is no such thing.  I even brought in letters from  previous teachers about my son's love for learning and how well he did before the 4th grade.  The only thing they found was that he lacked confidence and had low self esteme!  and during the meeting with that group who tested him, they wouldn't even acknowledge that the whole problem started  with the gosh darn 4th grade teacher!  I wonder how many students that teacher had really ruined for she had taught at that school for over 30 years.  I have since found out that complaints similar to mine had been made every year and yet the teacher had remained until her retirement.  Very very SAD!!!!!