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June 23, 2008, 1:48 pm PDT
Where is the integrity?
Quote From: celliegeanK I met my dear boyfreind online. I was seperated at the time. He was still married. He loved in a different town and I talked to him and listened to him every night ther where nights where he would sing me to sleep over the phone. Well he has moved up to my town and we have a 8 month old boy together. He is a father to my daughter and I homeschooled one of his boys last year. We are a family.. But I want to be his wife. I have sense divorced the abusive guy I was with and now I want ot be a wife and mother to our kids. how can I get him to start the divorce procedings? I Know that it costs like 150 here to go through the courts and I know that we are strapped for cash. ( we suport his wife and her boyfriend also. ) I am so ready. I know that he loves me and that he wants to be a family but I think he is scared that she is going to put up a fight about stuff. He left everything to her. ( but the kids one is 18 and one is 13.) We ussually have the younger of the kids and the older wants to live in his own town. She doesnt want to be divorced agian. this would be her second and I want to be married. Help I have a few questions for you: If he was divorced, would he marry you tomorrow? Is this something that the two of you have talked about? If money was not a concern and if his wife’s “issues” were not a concern, would he file for a divorce today? Your boyfriend should be focusing on what is right and best for his children. He is the strongest male role model that they will ever have; right now, he is modeling for them that it is “normal” to have a wife as well as a girlfriend who you have children with. Instead, he should be doing the right thing, and that is to get a divorce! Whether he is going to get married again or not, he should get a divorce. He should go to the court house, file divorce papers- in the areas that pertain to the visitation/custody of the children, he should write the visitation schedule that they share now, and then pay the fee and file. It is really that simple! If she (the wife) does not “want” a divorce; that is too bad! I think that your boyfriend will discover that his wife is just as afraid of what he might want in the process of a divorce as he is scared of what she might demand. They share similar fears, but the best way to overcome those fears is to face them. For the integrity of his family, it is the right thing to do. If he stalls, continuing to put off filing for a divorce, I urge you to ask him what his long-term plan is for your life together. Does he want to just continue to live together, raising your children together, while he remains married to his wife? That would be disrespectful to you and your precious children. You deserve more. I wish you the best!
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