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Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'
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July 7, 2008, 7:22 am PDT
 Quote From: sandy0914 I can't think of one reason after reading your post as to why you would even consider staying in this relationship. He is verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. Do you really think that just because you two get married all of this abuse will magically disappear? Not a chance. Yes, it may be hard to leave him because you two have a history together as well as a child. Moving on is scary. You don't want to be alone so you stay in a bad relationship. You have to think of your child. Do you want to bring up your child in this abusive dysfunctional relationship? Do you want her to suffer at the hands of her parents because for whatever reason they feel obligated to live with eachother fully knowing that their relationship is troubled and abusive? Why would you even consider bringing up your child in that kind of environment? Take a hard look at your fiancees character, morals and values. He's stubborn, he always has to be right (which in turn makes you wrong), he smokes weed, hasn't held a job in over 7 months, he's selfish and tremendously immature and is emotionally and physically abusive. And you wonder why you are not happy! This guy is no good for you or your daughter and you are absolutely 100% correct in questioning your future plans with him. You know he is all wrong for you - listen to your gut instinct. If you leave you have everything - your self esteem, your self worth, self respect and a beautiful child to love and teach her life lessons. You are her role model. She may not understand now but in years to come she will understand and mimic your actions. To never allow any man to abuse her, to stand up for herself, to not be afraid of dumping a guy who is abusive etc... The way I see it, this is a win win situation for you. A chance to start your life over without this selfish, immature, abusive guy weighing you down. You ask what you are doing wrong - you are showing him you will take all the crap that he dishes your way and you will stay there and take it all because you love him. In my book, that's not love. What do you love about this guy? Make a list of his good qualities and his bad qualities - let me know what you come up with. I really thank you for the words of wisdom. You don't know how many times I have threatened to leave and in the end, it only lasts for about 2 hours. He is very insensitive so when I say I'm leaving...he seems like he doesn't even care. It always falls back on me because I want him to care deep down inside, and it frustrates me to know that if I leave he won't even try to come after me. He says he loves me but he has a weird way of showing it. I have even caught him watching porn over 3 times...I talked to him and told him how I felt about it...then I saw an email that he wrote to one of his ex girlfriends!! I questioned him about it and he had no explaination. He always tells me that he's never cheated on me, that he would never do that to me, and yet he's been scheming gthe whole time. He has screen names for sites such as Bootytube, friend finder, and sex search. But on the sites he lies about his age and where he lives. It is still unacceptable. Lord knows I want to just end it now, but I know it will be hard. We made so many plans for our future and now none of it will happen.... |
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