Replies to '07/08 Ask Dr. Phil'

I am in need of guidance.  I have one child remaining at home (17 years old).  He stays in his room 24/7 -- does not go out of the house.  This has been going on for a couple of years now.  He does not have any friends except online.  He stays on his computer communicating with these friends or playing games and listening to music.  I have tried to get him to come out and communicate with him.

My concern is -- is this good for him?  I have told him I feel he needs to find an outlet outside the house -- like a job.  I am clueless as to what to do to help him prepare for adult life.  I feel he needs to get out and prepare himself for this; am I wrong?  He keeps telling me he wants to go to college after he graduates next year but I keep reminding him that his actions are not what his words are stating. 

He does what he has to to get by in school work and he has had many opportunities to improve his work ethnics but he tells me he is not motivated.  Well, I told him that motivation does not come naturally.  It is something that has to be worked on.

I am at a point that I don't know what action to take -- I have another son who is 27 but he does not do well either -- he is currently in jail for drug/alcohol related activiites.  He is receiving treatment at a state center.

My concern is that my sons are hiding from reality -- the oldest does it through drugs and alcohol and now the youngest does it through being alone and the internet with a lack of interest in outisde world.  I realize that the oldest is out of my hands -- it is time for him to take rein on his own life but I am still responsible for the youngest.  What do I do?

As I have mentioned in profile I am visually impaired so it takes me a long time to read or find things on the internet -- has Dr Phil had this type of behavior before?

Help!

I am in need of guidance.  I have one child remaining at home (17 years old).  He stays in his room 24/7 -- does not go out of the house.  This has been going on for a couple of years now.  He does not have any friends except online.  He stays on his computer communicating with these friends or playing games and listening to music.  I have tried to get him to come out and communicate with him.

My concern is -- is this good for him?  I have told him I feel he needs to find an outlet outside the house -- like a job.  I am clueless as to what to do to help him prepare for adult life.  I feel he needs to get out and prepare himself for this; am I wrong?  He keeps telling me he wants to go to college after he graduates next year but I keep reminding him that his actions are not what his words are stating. 

He does what he has to to get by in school work and he has had many opportunities to improve his work ethnics but he tells me he is not motivated.  Well, I told him that motivation does not come naturally.  It is something that has to be worked on.

I am at a point that I don't know what action to take -- I have another son who is 27 but he does not do well either -- he is currently in jail for drug/alcohol related activiites.  He is receiving treatment at a state center.

My concern is that my sons are hiding from reality -- the oldest does it through drugs and alcohol and now the youngest does it through being alone and the internet with a lack of interest in outisde world.  I realize that the oldest is out of my hands -- it is time for him to take rein on his own life but I am still responsible for the youngest.  What do I do?

As I have mentioned in profile I am visually impaired so it takes me a long time to read or find things on the internet -- has Dr Phil had this type of behavior before?

Help!