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October 16, 2005, 11:10 am PDT
truth best policy
Quote From: cscutie79 Desperately need some advice . I am a 26yr old single mom of a very beautiful and intelligent 8 yr old. When I found out I was pregnant for her I broke up with her father because I finally saw who he was( Liar, Cheat and troublemaker). Well a couple of yrs ago he talked me into letting them meet. My daughter was quickly drawn to him but I realized he was never going to change. Shortly after he got into trouble and was placed behind bars.My Daughter didn't know him very long but she fell in love with her "dad" and now I am torn about what I should Do. Should I let him fade like some distant memory? SHould I tell my daughter that he is in jail??? I feel like she is happy and we have a stable home...
I never Bad mouth him...As a matter of fact I always remind her that He does love her very much and Im sure he misses her. Do you think knowing her dad is a bad person will affect her?? Should I allow him to write or should I keep on telling my daughter that I am clueless to his whereabouts?
I dont want her to be angry at me when she gets older for not telling her, but on the same note I'm not sure if children should know that one of their parents is BAD. PLease Help me If you can... Tell her the truth. Leave it up to her if she wants to write him. She is 8 and knows right from wrong. When she does sometining bad you punish her. Explain to her that her dad did something bad and he was punished by the law of ground-ups and cannot be wtih her for awhile. She knows he loves her, so if she still wants to stay in contact let her. If you don't she will resent you for keeping them apart. Keep lines of communication open. Write a letter together to the dad so he is awhere that you are being open and honest with him, and if he truely wants to be a good dad he will appreciate it.
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