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Replies to '07/08 Ask Dr. Phil'
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July 10, 2008, 8:04 pm PDT
 Quote From: usmcwifecp Hi Rachel, When I saw your story, I thought I was listening to myself speak. I know EXACTLY what you are going through because I'm going through the same right now. For years I worked hard to climb up the corporate ladder and was missing something. I met my amazing husband and my life changed so drastically so fast. He is an officer in the Marine Corps, so if you know anything about the Marine Corps it comes first and foremost. Especially these days with the deployment cycle. When we got married, we moved down south to Camp Pendleton in San Diego CA. I had lived up in Orange County for the past 10 years, so at first I commuted to and from there. Basically 100 miles a days driving. When my husband was set to deploy for a year, we had decided that I would put my notice at work and not commute. He made plenty of money for us to live on and my nerves were shot knowing where he was going. That was the first of my decisions that kind of took away my sense of who I AM!! I loved my career in publishing, but didn't realize just how much it made me into who I am until over a year later. Before you know it, a year flew bye, my husband came home from Iraq and within the first month he was home, I got pregnant. We were planning our pregnancy so it was no surprise. The last two years have been a whirlwind for me. Now that my son is 7 months old, I am trying to figure out who I am. My whole life I've worked and built a career and now I'm trying to redefine myself. I LOVE being a wife and a mother, but I need to find my space in this world and in this family. I guess I'm writing to you because I can without hesitation say that I know what you are going through and we are sisters in the fight to find ourselves. I'm just beginning my journey into all this. We are moving next year out east. It makes it hard to meet friends. The media never really tells the story of what families go through when it comes to deployments or just being a military spouse. We move, make friends and then have to move again. It is tough to get a hold of who I am in the midst of all the changes our family faces. If you would like to have a supporter and someone to talk to, just email me. :-) Maybe we can share our ups and downs through this journey we are both going through. If I don't hear from you, definitely stomp that foot and make time for yourself. My husband is a great supporter of me redefining who I am and I hope that yours is as well. You are not alone!! :-) I wanted to say thank you for the great email and support. It was a big step going onto the show and talking about things that made me feel bad. I had always dreamed of being a mother and was excited when it happened. I also just felt selfish all the time when I had the feelings of missing my former self. When I got the call for the show I was so nervous. The day went well and Dr. Phil sent me some books to help with my situation. He was really great! The show actually helped open up communication between my husband and I. I figured if I had the nerve to go on TV, than I should be able to share all my feelings with my husband!!. I just felt guilty! He wasn't aware of all my feelings and now is more like your husband ( a great supporter). Thanks again for the email. I would love to chat more and talk about this journey. Talk to you soon! Rachel
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