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July 10, 2008, 1:55 pm PDT
family in crisis
Quote From: cndrllaCaysha, you mentioned wanting to become emancipated. Better give the following some thought:
Do you have a J.O.B.? If you don't, how do you expect to pay for just basic living expenses?..(not to mention any extras like..oh, let's see....shampoo, toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent.....etc.)
If you do have a job, will it give you enough money to pay rent, utilities, food, clothing, a car so you can go to work, gasoline for that car, general maintenance?........and do you have ANY idea how much those things cost? (Better take a look at your parents' bills...just for "fun"...you know...a dose of REALITY?) I promise you, it will make you think twice!
And this boyfriend who comes over to USE you three times a week? Oh yeah. Get pregnant and see how fast he disappears! He'll make Houdini look like an amateur! (and don't be fool enough to think it's "love", sweetie....at his age, he's only thinking with his LITTLE head! The fact he's behaving in such a selfish and disrespectful way right now by coming over to your grandmother's house and sleeping with you even though it's been made clear that he's not welcome, should give you a clue as to how he will treat you ! I'd hate for you to find that out the hard way.
I could go on, but, hopefully, you get the idea. Better to behave now and improve your present situation. And tell the boyfriend to take a hike! I was just watching "family in crisis" and had to shut it offf and email you my thoughts. OK, the mom had some issues but it seems like she is trying to clean up her act. The step dad was trying to get the video camera from the dtr that is calling him every "F" word in the book and Dr. Phil says, Oh, you were abusing her. Guess what she deserves a little "abuse" that is what is wrong with kids these days. Let me tell you when my sons were growing up I was a single mom. I did not hit them because the schools were telling all of the kids, if your parents hit you that is abuse. I didn't want to lose my children, I love(d) them. But it gave my older child "license" to basically do whatever he wanted. Her was into drugs, he was stealing from me and who knows who else, he wouldn't come home for curfew and I had little recourse. I tried to take things away from him like TV but he would just go get it and plug it back in, I tried cutting off the plug but he just rewired it. I know , he was(is) a bright little sucker. Since he weighed about 200 pounds and I was 120 pounds, guess who got their way? I took him to couseling, I tried everything. The counselor said to try tough love but I was not prepared to turn my CHILD out onto the street. Thank GOD that he finally grew up and he is probably more conservative than I am now. I just have to laugh. But what got to me today on this show was Dr. Phils arrogance and the fact that you obviously DO NOT GET the trials that a lot of single or remarried moms have. They are always going to lose, either they are accused of taking the step fathers side or they are accused of taking the childrens side. IT IS NO wonder that poor woman drinks...it is probably the only peace she has gotten in the past 10+ years. So before you go off half cocked Dr. Phil, why don't you walk for a few days or at least get a focus group from women who have been their on what it is like in this sort of situation. Granted the woman abused a lot of substances but ask yourself what was she trying to run from or take a two hour vacation from. You just don't get it. It is so easy for you to sit there and judge. You have a good life, with one partner for the past 20 some years. Kids find your weakness(es) and exploit them, especially if they are smart kids.Not only that but they talk to other kids at school and get ideas from them. My son's used to respect curfew times until one of their friends said "what is she going to do if you don't come home on time? Ground you?" "What will she do when you just walk out of the house?" That is how they learn this stuff. I am just glad mine are grown and happy, healthy and doing well now. I feel sorry for the women who are still trying to do it and I give EVERY single mom credit for being there, even if they are not perfect Dr. Phil...few are perfect. So many men just take off and leave all of it up to the mom. I had NO help from my ex, not even financially. That is just how it is for the MAJORITY of single moms or remarried moms.Get down off of your high horse and start some focus groups for crying out loud.
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