Quote From: lpapasOur stories are very similar, except my kids are still home. They are early school age. He works 80+ hours a week, while I take care of the kids, house and go to his business every day to help, do paperwork, etc. I put in 15-20 a week there. He is constantly complaining and criticizing how little I do, how I don't appreciate him, I could go on and on. I have my name on the house, but other than that his name is on everything else. I do not have access to a bank account. I have my own bank account, but I don't make money so it pretty much just sits there unused. I have a credit card for gas, groceries, etc., but he constantly threatens to take them away or cancel them. He says I don't work, but I do. He says I lay around all day, and boasts about eveything he does, how hard he works. I suffer from low self-esteem, I have lost myself, my identity. I am afraid to do anything when he is home. If I am not being 'productive' I hear it!
I thank you for writing in. Hearing other people's stories helps! I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow, to see legally where I stand, and if he every pulls the rug from under my feet I will be prepared. I also applied for a job and have an interview on Wednesday. I am going to prepare myself for the worst and not be a sitting duck anymore!
It seems you and I are in similar yet opposite situations. I work full time (40 hrs.) and have just taken on a part time job to make ends meet. I pay all the bills (including his child support payments and student loan), and everything is in my name. I also take care of my children and most of the household duties.
My husband recently started his own business, and cannot afford to pay himself. I know he is not sitting around all day. Yet, I feel as though I am being taken advantage of. He could have a paying job and contribute to our living expenses. I did agree to support him for the first year while he established his business. Now, four years and several thousand dollars in debt later, I'm getting a little fed up.
Unfortunately, I take out my frustration by insulting my husband's character. He really believes that his business will profit some day, and refuses to give up his dream. He accuses me of not having any faith in him because I don't want to support him any longer.
I've been confused on how I should feel about this issue. Should I stand behind him in his dream and support him for as long as it takes to make or break the business? Or, do I have a right to want him to give up his business, get a "real" job, and start helping out with the bills?
