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November 4, 2005, 6:42 am PST
Parenting is a relationship
Quote From: logans_mom Even though i only have 1 child ( a toddler) I also know how hard this is! we are a military family and just like you i find that my husband is alot more strict that I am. I think that is the military in him! I truley hope that he will either grow out of this or maybe i can change it.. ( haha...good luck!!) I also believe in rewarding the positive! And it is so hard to continue doing that. Why is it that it always seems easer to go back to only seeing the negative? I think every family has a softer parent! and maybe it is susposed to be that way! I love the last part of your post!! everyone should read that and think about it!! Good luck with your parenting!! Its not always easy!! I am consistently sad and wonder if adults get that being a parent or any kind of influence in a childs life is directly related to the relationship with that child. I am a mother a two teenage boys and my methods of parenting have continuously been the same; reach their hearts whenever possible and be flexible but firm. I have a job to send my children out in the world prepared to handle lifes conflicts. How they learn to deal with conflicts as children is directly related to how they will handle adult conflicts. Each time we have an issue we sit down and talk about what they are feeling and why they want to do this or that, I give them my feedback and we decide together what will work for our family. I also am clear to the boys that sometimes it will not go their way and am happy to explain why. We have an appeal process, by which they can ask again, as long as it is stated differently and the attempt is made to show me why my decision was incorrect. If I was wrong I am open to changing my decision, but if I feel I made the right decision that is the final word and no more discussion will take place. But all of displine and guidance no matter the issue should be done in a caring way. My kids understand they may not like my decision but it is based on my love and concern for them. They are children but they deserve our respect for their own feelings, also.
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