Replies to '07/18 The Cougar Craze'

Hi, I just want to relay a heart breaking story of my aunt who, in the early 1980's was a "cougar".  She was a very beautiful woman in her late 40's/early 50's who had run a successful oil statistic business.  She was married to a very wealthy man whose family were socialites and donated lots of money to build museums and so on.  He was her second marriage and he was older, and drank to much, and they may have had other problems, so their fairly long (15 year?) marriage ended in divorce.  Her settlement included a $300K condominium that was paid for, a trust to pay the taxes and maintenance on it with the dividends, a very large bank-account trust for all her necessary/unnecessary expenses, and a new car.  She was set for life and death as a divorcee.  Here is where her "cougar" days begin and her trouble really started.  A much, much younger man, just older than her son swept her off her feet and she was just in love.  He wined her, dined her, romanced her and bought her the world.  She believed he was a very wealthy young businessman who adored her.  He gained her trust by being around and taking care of her every need, every hour of every day.  I don't think she ever even looked at his driver license over the couple of years that he was in her home and bed.  One day he proposed a business deal to invest her money in some sort of investment that would give her a huge return.  By the time he proposed this she completely trusted him, after all, he gave her a very large diamond engagement ring and planned to marry her, and she had accepted.  So, why not invest money that they were going to share - wasn't he wealthier than she was anyway?  So off she went to get a 2nd mortgage on her condo, and take out all her trust fund money - her accounts were so empty she could not eve buy a jug of milk.  She really, sincerely trusted him, and wanted a new lease on life, wealth, and youth.  He took the money, in check form, that morning and told her to go to the spa for the day, he would meet her at an upscale restaurant that evening at 7:00 p.m.  So she spent the day at the spa, then got dressed and went to the restaurant.  He called to say he was late with a client and would be around soon.  He called again to say he was stuck in traffic.  Then he called to say he would be there in just short of 45 minutes.  She waited.  and waited.  and waited.  Finally the restaurant closed and it sent her home.  Worried sick that he was hurt she tried everything to get ahold of him.  Finally a week later she called the police and tried to file a missing person's report.  They returned with infomration that the car she described was rented to a person of a different name than she had told them.  She was confused.  they double checked.  they were correct.  No one existed by the name he gave that they could find.  No one had bought an air line ticket with his name either, for she checked that as well.  About a week of searching and she could not find him.  Finally it began to dawn on her that this younger, handsome man had left with all her money and she had signed it over to him - he had tricked her.  She called a lawyer.  She was told that since she gave it to him in a personal relationship, not business, they could do nothing for her, especially since they were not married and his identity was not known.  She sat in her room all week under severe depression and dis-belief.  It had to sink in.  She had just given her entire financial life to a younger man - no wonder he could afford to give her such an expensive ring and take her out.  This was his form of business - taking widow's financial lives under a false name.  No one ever found him.  He is prob. very wealthy now.  Still wining and dining older, lonely women who hope they still "have what it takes".  A few months went by.  This very spoiled lady had to get a job and try to support herself at a minimum level.  She had a son, but who knows how much he could help her.  While she was dating this man, her ex-husband had gotten re-married to a very, very young woman, who was extreemly pretty and dotted all over the old, drunk geezer.  Well, this ex-husband up and died.  He left all his fortunes to the young wife of only 5 years, and this aunt of mine who had spent at least 15 years got nothing, even though he know what had happened to her - he figured he had given her a good settlement and she was the one who left him.  Her disaster was her own making, and he had eyes only for this young chick.  No the world is not fair.  Old men want young women.  Men seem to have better financial control in some cases.  In this case the double standard is clear - the old man gets the 25 year old and dies first leaving her his fortune in payment for prob. a back rub, (who can tell if he was even "able"), and the older woman was wiped out financially by a younger man, who was essentially doing the same thing to her than the young woman was doing to the old man....It was a very sad and depressing story.  It happened when I was in early high school.  I made my mind up that if my husband ever dies, I will not remarry and will tell everyone who knows me that I'm completely broke so they don't try to steal everything my husband has left for me to live on.  I won't fall for a younger man who wants me to swoon for his good looks to shake up my self-esteem and help me pretend I'm a young girl.  Nope, I will not let this happen to me.  I hope the women who date younger guys out there take extra care, I would really hate to see this story occur again - to any woman.