Replies to '07/17 Living on a Prayer'

   It got to me also that this person has already diagnosed him without having ever met that man! I happen to know of a lot of people just like him, mostly men of course, who may not use the Bible as their excuse, but they sure have plenty of other excuses on hand as to why they can never hold down a job. I know one man in particular who has made his wife support him and their family, (yes, I think she should should leave him!) while he has sat on his big butt throughout their entire marriage and has only worked for only a few months here and there at a time. I have always compared him to the dorky cousin in the movie "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation) because they both are holding out for a management position. Most people have to work their way up to a management position, not just walk in without experience and expect one to be handed over "just because they feel they deserve it"!

   And not everybody has the great luck in life of getting to own their own business. That is not even reasonable, someone has to work for them too! Whatever you choose to do as an adult is your business, but when you bring children into this world, you had better be responsible for them if it means that you have to take a job at 7-11. Honest pay for honest work. I have more respect for people who work at mini marts and fast food places than I do for this man. Actually, I have NO respect for this man at all! But I have great respect for someone who works at any honest business, no matter what it is.

   I love your remark where you state "It amazes me how many times when people do irresponsible and/or stupid things the need to diagnose a syndrome/condition is overwhelming."

   You hit the nail on the head with that one! If you want to, you could take any individual and find a syndrome/condition to diagnose them with to suit that persons needs. And personally, I think that Dr. Phil would have picked up on it if this man did have a mental problem. There is a great deal of interviews and preparation that goes on before he has a guest on the show. It's not as if he walks out onto that stage blind to what he is going to deal with. This man is just plain lazy, irresponsible, and only wants to do things his way. It's his way or no way! And I have just as much blame for the wife too, she should know better than to allow this not only too continue, but to have even more children that they cannot take care of. Why isn't she holding down a job while he stays home with the kids? Does she have a syndrome/condition too? I would LOVE to hear a response to that question! Do they both have the same condition?

   As Fiestyd said, "sometimes it just is what it is"!

My hit was that this man probably  has Aspergers. He manifested the characteristics. He has had many jobs all relating to his special interest at the moment. I am sure some people make a living selling tropical fish, golfing, or growing trees but it requires a lot of skill, planning, and training to do so. He is very willing to work and does so frequently just very poorly. I saw this man as someone pretty clueless as to what is required to get and maintain a job. I also saw him as pretty clueless as to how to maintain marital and parental relationships and expectations. Most people with untreated AS attempt self-employment because they lack the skills to work for others. Many people with AS have college degrees, sometimes up to PhD's but often with No successful employment due to poor communication, poor social relating, rigid thinking, and poor cause and effect.

My son who has autism, mental retardation, bipolar disorder and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome has had a very difficult time with employment. (He's adopted for all of you who are getting ready to cast stones at me.) He quit one job because one supervisor told him he could plug in the vacuum cleaner in one spot and another told him he had to plug it in another spot which kept coming unplugged. His psychiatrist of 10 years said, Of course he would not be able to deal with that kind of discrepancy of expectations because he has autism! Check with anyone who has experience with adults who have Aspergers and I am sure you will find that my opinion is not off base. I did not diagnose him but strongly suggested that he be evaluated for Aspergers and he and his family be given appropriate resources to understand and support each other.