Quote From: msbrill2You mention someone on your show about someone who has a dark secret, and that involves porn and maybe even something more sinister. You ask whether or not you would stay with someone who was keeping secrets or doing porn.
My answer is: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
I have experience with both scenarios in my relationship history. I was involved with someone who watched porn, and he even took me to a pornographic theater. It was too painful to be there. It meant he needed much more than I could give him, and he made it clear I never measured up.
I also dated someone who was a heavy marijuana user. He was divorced with two daughters. They were under ten at the time. I asked him repeatedly if his daughters knew about his pot smoking, and he said they knew, but I didn't think to question him further.
Then one day he told me something that led him to leaving my apartment directly the next day, never to see him again. This is what he said to me, word for word, verb for verb:
"My ex-wife and her new husband were smoking marijuana in front of Belinda and Margaret. They were curious, so their mother let them try some. Belinda (age 5 at the time) and Margaret (age 8 at the time) came home high, and I told my ex and her husband to get them to sober up when they got home. Belinda doesn't like marijuana. You see, Margaret and Belinda are very sophisticated.
In order to help Margaret get over the divorce, I have been feeding her marijuana two weeks for a year."
I had been seeing him for four months by that time, and this was the first time I ever heard that! We had an argument about it, and he left the next day.
People were asking me, "What else was he doing with her?" "How else was Fred treating Margaret like an adult?"
Well, I completely understood the question, and the implications behind those questions as well, and I didn't know, but putting two and two together wasn't hard.
Marijuana is a relaxer and and loosens inhibitions. Forgive me for doing your job there, Dr. Phil. A high adult, a high kid, he's a male, she's a female, he wants a creative way to teach the facts of life..
That thought occurred to me too.
