I do completely agree that women need to take responsibility and not get themselves involved with these kinds of guys. And, I, for one, always thought I was the most responsible kind of woman. However, because of lack of knowledge and unresolved stuff from my past, I got involved with more than one of these narcissistic sociopathic types of guys. Yes, intellectually, I always knew this was stupid, but my emotions were running rampant over my unresolved issues, and the reason I got into these types of relationships was because I subconsciously wanted some kind of positive outcome with them, which I never got in my childhood. I am simplifiying something very complex here.
But, yes, enough was enough, and the last involvement was an absolute disaster, so I did every possible thing I could think of to heal this stuff, get it right finally, and I had the time and energy to do this. It was a freeing but painful experience to look at all of this. I had to do this, because these patterns were ruining my life. And, I did heal this.
Now that I can see the red flags real easily and I know the best relationship is no contact with these folks. and even a few female forms of them have been in my life in a friendship/work context. They are not going to change so it seems silly to even think they would. They are satisifed with who they are. Although I am currently single, I have to say that it is wonderful to be around people who do not have these personality disorders and addictions.
I am kind of sensitized to the fact that these are a lot of narcissists and sociolpaths getting a lot of attention in this society and people often smile, make excuses, worship them, etc. And, of course the double standard exists. It just seems that that media seems to often glorify these disorders and probably would barely exist without these personalities making up a large part of news and the popular crime shows on televsion. I think this sends the wrong message to vulnerable children, adolescents, and adults when are not healthy enough to know this is not an appropriate way to be in this world.
It just seems that a little of that was happening on the show when the guy wanted to take lessons on how to pick up girls and went so far as to have a microphone on him to get directions from one of the guests. Why, on earth, would a nice guy like that (the kind of guy I would want in my life) feel he is so lacking that he wants to be trained by such a sick individua? But, thinking about that question makes one think about how the media plays up these narcissists and sociolpaths and seem to send a subtle message that if you want to get what you want in life and be heard, then start acting like someone who is either a narcissist or sociopath. Yes, its only the media, but its tough to completely avoid the media, and it really is a reflection of what people want.
