Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

Quote From: jaimie1974

Before this friendship can move forward, you have to find the strength within yourself to forgive her. Forgiving her isnt for her benefit, it is for YOU, so that you can heal and, hopefully, move forward to rebuild this friendship, making it a healthy one this time. It would be tragic if the two of you became friends again but went right back to your old, dysfunctional ways. What would be the purpose in going forward with the friendship unless you were going to make it a new and improved friendship? My advice to you is to make that your goal- to not slide into old, toxic habits. When you notice you and your friend having dysfunctional interactions, do not argue; instead, say to her, when you said/did insert what the issue is, it made me feel bad. I want our friendship to be good and healthy, I dont want us to go back into our old habits from the past Her reaction to those words will tell you whether that is a possibility or not. If she reacts in a defensive way, youll know that continuing this friendship wont be possible because she isnt ready for positive, true change in her life. She might react in a calm way; she may take in your words and learn from them, working towards creating a healthy relationship with you. That would be great!
I wish you the best. I know it can be confusing; what to do, what to say? But you can create healthy, positive friendships with or without this person in your life.