Replies to 'Breaking Up'

Sounds fishy to me, too!
Do you and your boyfriend live together? Do you hope to be married to him someday? If you were/are expecting a long term committed relationship with him, you need to confront him and have a serious discussion. Your goal is to have a conversation and come to an understanding and/or a solution. You don’t want this discussion to become an argument, because then you will get no solution. To prevent an argument, force yourself to remain calm and totally rational; don’t say things that you might not mean. Use what is called the “validation method” when you approach him. The ‘validation method’ goes like this: you start out with a positive statement, then state your issue, then end with another positive statement. For example, you might say something like, “I love you and appreciate you very much. We’ve been together for over five years, we’ve had many great times together, and I want for us to continue having great times. For us to move forward and have a happy, healthy relationship, I need for you to be honest with me from this day forward. If you need to resolve issues with a high school girlfriend, you can tell me before you meet with her. I want to know these things about you…” Then from there, see how the conversation goes. If he becomes defensive, it is very likely that he is hiding something. People don’t become defensive unless they are trying to hide something, and the best way to hide something is to create another issue over something else- that way you’ll become distracted and go on to that other issue, forgetting the original issue for the moment. Remember that when you approach him to talk about your future together. I wish you the best!