Wow! My heart goes out to you, dear. I know the initial shock of the change is SO hard to adjust to. There comes a time when you have to realize that NO man is going to make you the women you are already destined to be. You deserve the very best that life and love have to offer. This time can be a growing experience for you, if you let it. I was lost without my relationship and my children for a time, which nearly killed me. So, I fully understand your pain right now. I just want to encourage you that you CAN heal from this and move on.
Just curious why you have to move without your children? I am single with four kids to support, care for and house. It's hard and every day I struggle with the resentment of being left "holding the diaper bag" so to speak, while my ex scuttles off into the sunset with no responsibility(not even paying a measly $50. per month in child support). He can work all the hours he wants to and come home to drink himself to sleep. I, on the other hand, don't have such luxuries. I have to arrange my work around childcare concerns and I never get to go out for a drink with friends, or see a movie. There are times when I wish I could move away by myself and have a bit of peace for a time. Don't get me wrong; I love my kids! But, I wish I could get a vacation from them once in while!
I think you could use this time in your own place to begin to reconnect with who you are. And who you were before marriage and kids. Take some time to write down your dreams for yourself, going back to your early adulthood. Nothing is beyond your reach, if you put your heart and mind to it! Dream big and let yourself reaffirm those long lost desires for the things you had hope to accomplish. Surely you have an identity in addition to being "mom" and "wife". Find it, and move forward in full affirmation of your potential!
I found, when I did this, that I had married and put my dreams on hold. So, reconnecting with them and the things I wanted to accomplish has helped me go back to school and get certified as a CNA. I just passed my licensing exam today! YAY! I know that working in healthcare is what I was purposed to do. So, I'm very happy with my work now.
I know you can begin to reconnect with the passion in you and let that guide you to what work you can do which, not only can support you, but fulfills your dreams for yourself. You owe it to yourself to make your future what ever you want it to be. And remember, you are NOT a victim of your circumstances right now!
I will be thinking good things and sending kind thoughts your way. Many Blessings,
R
