Hi.
I don't think there is anything wrong with porn either, that is, until it starts destroying lives. Much like cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, shopping, sports, exercise, etc. Anything if used in a healthy moderation can bring instant or long lasting results. Too much exercise can make a person sick. A shot of whisky in tea with lemon when we are sick, can make us feel better so that we can rest. Porn is useful and entertaining when we don't have anothers' companionship. Its even good when there is someone but just not where we want them, when we want them. We have to learn how to take care of our needs.
The problem is coming in because you think you need to be like these porn actors in order to be good enough to keep your man's attention. Thats not his fault. Its yours. Unless of course, he is not giving you what you need to feel loved, safe and accepted?!
You need to feel good about yourself despite what other people do and say. You admit you have low self confidence. Why do you say that? Is it because other people have told you you do? Is it because you came to the conclusion on your own because you find yourself being treated poorly or not up to standards, by the people that you are choosing to spend your time with? Our company of people determine who we are and even though we cannot and should not avoid people, if you are with someone that is not able to feel sexual towards you unless they look at other people first, well, that just for one, lacks imagination, ambition, and you know what????? SELF ESTEEM.
You are taking his insecurities and making them yours, on top of yours. I would say go out and see how many people look at you, make sexual comments to you, hit on you, and then if you get no attention from other people, you may want to consider changing some things. :) But if you get attention, people in general like you, why are you allowing one man's choices and opinions make you feel inferior? Don't you see that if he was really a nice person, he would'nt do things to you that, that despite his needs, he is not seeing yours? Thats not a relationship. Thats a casual affair.
Its no biggie that he is into watching porn and may have done so all his life, or maybe not......if he needs to look at porn before he can have good sex, wouldn't you say that was HIS issue? Not yours? Put the problem back where it originated. Stop taking on other peoples issues, and go out and find yourself a life. I did. Its great. Good luck.
